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Such A Bad Girl

So you want me in the kitchen You tell me you can cook I hope that you’re not fooling Or a self-pleasured kind of crook With a desire that I truly love And an oven getting hot I lead you to my table loft And pray your boasts aren’t for naught Pretend that I’m that bread of French Kneaded so gently while I stand Now I’ll lean over on elbows soft Please be gentle with your hands Now take your special rolling pin Lubricate it so it won’t stick I’ll help you if it’s what you need Boy this sucker sure is thick Now be sure the oven rack you seek Isn’t the one that I recall Make sure you use the lower rack Because the upper is too small Now my buns are swelling As my oven spreads its heat Maybe I’ll do a double cook And slip in a piece of meat At last all is ready Now is the time for fun Spread out your creamery moistness And butter up my buns Now that the baking is over You make your moves and I start bitchin I only wanted your labor of love Now get out of my freaking kitchen
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