"Well, here we are folks. Thanks for joining us tonight. This is my co-host, Jim Van Patten, and I'm Bob Lamaire. We�re here at the final table of the World Professional Poker Tour Tournament. We had a little mishap earlier in the evening. It seems that the dealer got ill..."
"He was drunk on his ass, Bob."
"We don't have a report from the hospital yet, Jim."
"He fell off his chair, Bob. The muthafucka was drunk on his ass."
"Well at any rate, Jim, the tournament promoters found a replacement dealer sitting in the audience tonight, some guy named Chris Nolan, so the show will go on."
"What do we know about this Nolan guy?"
"Not much Jim, but it's time for the first hand, so let's see what he's got."
"Wow, Bob! Look at that pitch! The guy is planting the cards between the rail and the layout right in front of each player."
"Pretty impressive, Jim. But let's see if he can handle chips."
"Look at that, Bob. He's sizing stacks and cutting chips faster than I've ever seen. This guy is good!"
"Yeah, Jim, he must have had some blackjack experience. I've never seen a poker dealer with that kind of talent. But we'll see what happens when he has a split pot. Even the top pros can fuck that up."
"Looks like we're going to get a chance to see it right here, Bob, three side pots on this hand."
"He stacks the cheques, pushes the first, the second, the third, and now the main pot. Did he get it right, Jim?"
"I'm not sure, Bob. It all happened so fast; I couldn't follow the action... and now the crowd goes wild! Nolan smiles and nods modestly at the audience."
"Looks like the Cinderella kid has saved the day here, Jim"
"Right you are, Bob. I guess the poker gods are with us tonight."
