Real Life Dilemmas
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is clear considered a color?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it?
Why do they make cars go so fast it's illegal?
Why do they make scented toilet paper?
Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?
Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
Where is Old Zealand?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?
Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing people is wrong?
Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?
Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them?
When people lose weight, where does it go?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
When we say our mind wanders - where does it go?
Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath?
Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why do they call it life insurance?
Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
How does it work out that people always die in alphabetical order?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can fat people go skinny dipping?
Do blind dogs have seeing eye humans?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Do television evangelists do more than lay people?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
