Alright, it is one thing to be born with a birth defect or have suffered some sort of brain trauma, but just being stupid is not an excuse. I wonder just how these people managed to survive childhood, and in one case, managed to survive army helicopter flight school.
Lets begin with Warrant Officer Newman.
Okay, this boy was from southern California, which contrary to popular belief does not automatically make him stupid or brain damaged.
He was a surfer, which again does not make him stupid or brain damaged.
He used a short board. Okay this makes him stupid. It has been proven time and time again, that from below, a surfer on a short board looks like a fat seal to great white sharks. I.E STUPID.
His idea of flying nap of the earth, well you have heard of tree top level, try zero branches, counting from the bottom. I cannot count the times he ended up with limbs tangled in the skids.
But what took the cake was the time his car wouldnt start. He had a guy jumping the car off, while spraying can after can of starter fluid into the carb.
The hood landed 50 feet away in front of the cq hut. It took 20 minutes to put out the fire on both cars, and there was a miracle that day, he did not get acid on him, nor was he burned by fire.
The bad news, the C.O had picked that day to drive his CLASSIC 1955 cherry thunderbird to the company area. Guess where it was parked... thats right, next to stupid guy and it suffered major damage to the paint, convertible roof and interior.
I do believe if the CO could have gotten into the armory, our intrepid pilot would have died.
Then, there was Jim Bob from Eastern Tennessee. He was also in the army with me. His claim to fame was to take a broom and knock down a hornets nest near the platoon smoking area.
William Tripps who was showing off with 44 magnum and shot his dad's prize breeding bull between the eyes.
Scotty Richardson, who tried to drive a one ton truck across a iced over pool in a stream bed in North of Amarillo... and sunk up to the windows.
Mike Baird, who decided it would be a great joke to sprinkle pepper juice all over his sister's wedding cake.
Christine McBride, (I am not going to blame this on the fact she was blonde) who decided to de ice her front porch and side walk with lit gasoline. The firemen saved the house, damage limited to the outside.
Lucy Miller who took the shortcut across the T&P tracks in daddy's brand new truck and got it high centered. While she was going to find a phone, a fast moving freight got the truck off the tracks for her, granted it was in pretty rough shape.
I could go on, but you get the picture.
