MnAngelBabyEyez's blog: "Stuff"

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer. IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell. AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle. IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day. AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behaviour. AT WORK............you get more work for good behaviour. IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK............you must often carry a security card and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK...........you could get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet. AT WORK..........you have to share the toilet with some people who wet on the seat. IN PRISON..........they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK............you aren't even supposed to speak to your family. IN PRISON...........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required. AT WORK............you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out. AT WORK .........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

Interesting. The next time you hear a politician casually use the word "billion", think about whether you want that politician spending your tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age. A billion days ago no-one walked on two feet on earth. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate the government spends it.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ! Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and! put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER .... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ! Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?