DrAgOnStEaR's blog: "Stuff"

I want to kiss her everyday.  I want to wake up next to her.  I want to see her eyes open.  I want to hear her say, " I love you."  I want to see her standing next to the fridge just looking.  I want to hear her words every second.  I want to touch her.  I want to look into her eyes, and see her soul looking back at me.  I want to feel her being inside me.  I want to feel her next to me.  I want her to stand her ground when things are bad.  I want her to stand with me when things are good.  I want her to dream of a good life.  I want her to know she is loved.  I want her to know I always have her back.  I want her to know I go nowhere.  I want her to know she is a dream come true.  I want her to know always and forever is more than just words.  I want her to know they pour from lips as if my soul is attached.

Sometimes

Sometimes i can't control the things my head thinks. 
Sometimes i can't control the feelings i feel. 
Sometimes i can't see things as clear as most. 
Sometimes i can't untangle the thoughts from eachother. 
Sometimes i can't bring myself up. 
Sometimes i can't bring myself down. 
Sometimes i stand alone. 
Sometimes my friends are there. 
Sometimes.
She is there always.
A&F

     So the thoughts in my head dance all the time.  In a twist together all of them at one time dancing to a beat I can't control.  I use to have control.   I use to keep the shadows in the dark, but now it is all dark.  The shadows are loose to do as they please.  Does everyone see me?  Can they see the thoughts that pace back and forth?  They say I'm not suppose to feel this way.

     Well, what does everyone know anyways.  I am me.  I can't change what has happened.  I can only make peace with it.  How do you make peace with pain though?  How do you accept what has happened?  How do you dance within your head without falling down?  How do you pretend that everything bad just isn't there?  It use to be easy to push it all away, but now i can't.

     Why she listens to me I will never know.  Why she keeps heading in my direction I will never know.  She is the light in the corner of a dark mind.  She understands where it all comes from.  She stands tall when I can not.  She stands there when others have run.  She knows me at my worst.  She knows me at my best.

      I have nothing to offer her.  Just a dark mind, a torn soul, and a shattered heart.  For whatever reason she accepts this.  She accepts me.