For the past few weeks, I've been trying to get together a band of locals to charter a sailboat for a week next spring. Knowing my real life friends, we're talking pirate re-enactors, renaissance faire junkies, and living-history specializing historians. As I'm ultimately looking for a crew of six (myself included) to charter from one of the various rental locations along the Chesapeake to Virginia Beach and back for a week (a reasonably easy sail, even if we go 20-30 miles offshore to do it), I want a few experienced people, and to round out the crew with a bunch of bluebloods (I grew up on sailboats, so I'm all good for the experienced crew). This week, one of my big-bosses started posturing with me regarding the local renaissance festival. He announced up and down that he'd have the most authentic pirate outfit there during pirate weekend (he was upset when he found out that he couldn't wear his two 16th century pistols (while historically accurate - and his are real vintage - the festival doesn't allow them, even unloaded). I asked him if he had ever had any real experience on a sailing ship (I've had lots). He sheepishly admitted he hadn't. This coming spring, I'm planning a sailing trip - modern ship, but with all of the modern navigation and control amenities turned off. We're going to do it completely 16th-18th century style - paper charts, sextants, telescopes, celestial bodies, etc. Baltimore to Virginia Beach. One week. Those that can't hack it get tossed. Gun crew. Big bangs. I'm going to invite my big boss. Then we'll really see if he can hack it. He already respects me. We'll see if I can make him worship me. *evil grin*

...New surprises make it infinitely more interesting. When a close friend of fifteen years (who I've been desiring to get with for just as long) suddenly announces that she now views me in an entirely different light (in a positive way), the loops get thrown into my life. She and I have a date on Friday, with no small amount of sexual tension between us being left unexpressed. We'll put it this way... I've been on cloud nine since she revealed her feelings today. I'm really looking forward to Friday, and wish it would come sooner. She and I have both decided that it would be in the best interest of humanity and the space-time continuum, that we leave Friday where it is in the week, even if it is still four days away, which causes each of us much frustration in several aspects. I feel really good about pursuing a real relationship with her, as we already have nearly fifteen years of friendship behind it (I met her my Freshman year of college, in the fall of 1993). The way I see it, if the romantic and physical bits work out between us, we already have the normal practicalities of most new couples well behind us. A few posts back, I posted my "Why am I not Dating" post. In it, I cited, several times, my experiences with my most recent ex, and what worked for us - namely friendship, communication, and a romantic and sexual compatibility. With the exception of the, as yet untested, romantic and sexual compatibility, she and I have everything in a far greater quantity than I've ever had with a romantic partner previously. Our attraction is far beyond physical appearances (though, admittedly, she's exceptionally cute - short, big breasts [I'm not really a breast man, but hers are still quite noticeable and quite beautiful - I know, I've had them in my mouth before], beautiful face, and a personality that just won't quit). I haven't dated in nearly two years. This is my first real date in that time. She and I are perfectly matched on several levels (we're both intellectual geeks, writers, political commentators, and generally off of the mainstream radar. We both love political arguments (or other disputes over other equally as important material), we love tossing insults at each other, we both love alternative lifestyles - both socially and sexually (no, you're not getting details). I don't want to jinx things, but I feel extremely confident that things will go well between us. We've loved each other as friends for a decade and a half. Now, we're presented with the opportunity to love each other as far more than friends. I'm up for the challenge.

I know that most of you who read my journal are reasonably intelligent, racially sensitive (meaning you don't judge people on skin color), and generally well-adjusted adults. Some of you are even *gasp* black (note the HEAVY hint of sarcasm there - I only mention it because it pertains to the story I'm about to post). Apparently, a Dallas County, Texas commissioner (I'm assuming that the Dallas County commissioners are similar to the county council members we have here in Maryland) thinks the term "black hole" is racist, particularly when used to describe a county office (namely the Dallas County Traffic Ticketing Office) as one that has repeatedly lost tickets, both paid and unpaid, costing the county a lot of money because of the errors. It was a white commissioner that used the term to describe the office, and a black commissioner that took offense. The offended commissioner also states that "angel food cake", "devil's food cake", and "black sheep" are also "racially insensitive." This article is from the local Fox News Station, and includes video. I've also seen several other articles on this today, but this one sums everything up nicely. The term "black hole" is racist. Now I ask all of you, as people of at least average intelligence (and many being far more intelligent), would you consider "black hole" to be a racist term? We might as well condemn Stephen Hawking as a lowly racist right now if it is. Edit, before you slag me for quoting Fox News (unfair and unbalanced), let me just say that minus the interview with the offending Commissioner, it's essentially a rehash of the AP story I saw earlier.

Tonight, I found Celinia's old livejournal (for those keeping score and not in the know, Celinia was my last serious girlfriend. We were together for about two and a half years, living together for two of those years). She moved out in mid-December of 2004, almost exactly two years after we started dating. In reflection (to be cliched, hindsight is always 20/20), she was unhappy with our relationship for the last six months of that. I think it was mostly the financial issues and the neighbor from hell. I think my own issues had a lot to do with her being unhappy. Anyway, those revelations are for a different post, that I will probably never make, as I try not to dwell on the past, and have learned my lessons. What occurred to me is that I've been mentioning to people that ask, that it's been about two years since Celinia and I broke up. In reality, her moving out was really the point of the breakup - we just didn't have closure then. In reality, it's been three and a half years since we broke up - three years since we both got our closure. She and I have been apart longer than we were together. Since Celinia and I broke up, I've busied myself with Zombie Death, work, and friends (that I only see for two months out of the year - I'm such a lousy friend). I've been making excuse after excuse to not start dating again - not ready, not in an appropriate living situation, too busy with the movie, too busy with work, etc. It's all just excuses. I've been busying myself with easy-to-leave online "relationships" for a sense of being loved. That really doesn't cut it. They're easy to leave for a reason. The only excuse that I've used that actually makes some sense is actually attributed to a more distant ex-girlfriend, who started as an online relationship - I want and deserve more than a one night stand or brief fling. While this might be great for my morals, it doesn't take care of my more animalistic needs. What all of this boils down to is "Why am I not dating again?" The real problem is that I know the answer to that question: "It's been so long, I don't remember how." I'm older now, the financial climate has changed (meaning I can't afford to just go hang out at a club or bar like I used to). I'm horribly out of shape, and really need to do something about it. I'm disgusted looking at myself. How can anyone else find me attractive when I can't stand to look at myself? (nearly a year of unemployment, too much computer time, and then taking a job that has me tasked in front of a computer, often with nothing to do besides fill out crosswords or play solitaire [what else does a maintenance team do when they're so good that there's no maintenance to be done] has destroyed my body - I really miss my in-shape stage crew days). I honestly only barely even remember how to break the ice with anyone anymore. Normally, the only times I do, I'm at work, and it would just be in bad form (not to mention VERY against company policy) to try and get anything going then (yeah.. I met a HOT single chick at the airport last week - she seemed to be all about me, wanting me to make a move, and I didn't because I was wearing that damn BWI badge). Outside of all of that, my only other possible prospects are Internet deals, which I place about as much faith in as I do in GWB's capability of upholding the Constitution, are as such: There's one chick... very cute, young (only 21... 22 in a couple months), from Colorado. She's looking to do her graduate work at John's Hopkins... she wants to "get together" when she comes out for her interview at Hopkins. Her biggest selling point is her sense of humor: she was raised Muslim, and is a Muslim to this day, but she finds the American hatred of Muslims to be highly amusing. She's just as American as the rest of us - born here - but likes to play up her Muslim heritage and beliefs as a means of causing chaos. She really is a lot of fun. The other possible prospect is a woman from Pittsburgh, also met on the Internet. She's a cool chick too. She works at the mall that the original Dawn of the Dead was filmed in. She's generally cool... matches my kink levels, has a lot of good conversation to provide, yet she's 35 and still works retail in a management capacity. I'm almost 33, and have become a demigod of security at an international airport. Most of you know how sketchy my employment history has been. I finally got myself a career. I'm not sure that I want to even think about getting involved with someone that hasn't yet figured it out. What's the number one problem with both of them? Yep, you guessed it... Internet chicks. I place absolutely no faith in either of them until they're local. If I can't get to their house in less than 45 minutes, nothing serious is EVER going to happen. Fuck... I'm just rambling now.... Bottom line is... why the fuck am I not dating again? I need to answer that for myself. [Edit - correcting facts]

I was but a tender eight "years young" when I first heard George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" bit. My parents were watching a VHS copy of that particular George Carlin stand-up routine. They tried to usher me out of the room to protect my sensitive young ears, but after I had heard the seven dirty words as spoken by George Carlin, they assumed no more damage could be done. I watched the rest of the bit, finding humor in the dirty words alone, not realizing how much of an impact that George's philosophy would have on the rest of my life. Over the course of my life, I've always been a fan of George Carlin's. He's always been the comedian philosopher that has told it like it is. Much of my life philosophy is based on his insight and wisdom. With his "Seven Dirty Words" monologue being my first experience of him, it's always remained my favorite - not to mention the impact it had on my life. Because of George, those words never seemed any different to me than any other word in the English language. Knowing their effect, sometimes I use them to enhance the sentiment in a statement, but they're still really just words to me - no different than any other. In my daily lexicon, I might use "fucking" in the same capacity as I use "great" For those that many be uninitiated: This is the routine (not live footage, but video placed against the original audio) This monologue defined my youth. Moving forward into my later years, George served to reinforce my political views, my views on society, my views on the world. Most importantly, George Carlin influenced my sense of humor. I've always been of the thought that anything can be made funny. George Carlin taught me this, as can be found in this clip: (George Carlin's "Even Rape Can Be Funny" bit) George Carlin was truly more than just a comedian. He was a philosopher. He was a cynic. He told everything just as it was. George Carlin made more sense than any other person that could be called his contemporary. He truly was a genius. The fact that he no longer graces this world with his insight only challenges the rest of us to try and live up to his legacy. George, you will be sorely missed.

He had it right.
This is a snippet from one of his last stand-up routines. Don't be a sheep. Don't be complacent. Be a true American, and show the politicians they've forgotten what it means to be a True American. R.I.P. Gorge Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008

Unfortunately, my confidentiality agreement with work (and common decency and respect) prevents me from talking about most of it for the moment. I promise I'll dish as soon as I can. We'll just put it this way... the current Systems Administrator seriously fucked up, and it'll likely only be a matter of days before I'm asked to take over his job.

I'm in the process of casting my second film. This film is going to be nothing more than a five minute (or less) web short. I've already approached one actress for the female role (who is more than willing to do it), but I'm not sure she's really the one I want. I'm pretty confident, however, that a coworker of mine *is* the one I want. Here's the problem: said coworker was recently involved in a sexual harassment case against another co-worker. As the film I'm looking to make has strong sexual undercurrents, I'm not sure that I want to risk my job to approach her about the film in a work environment. The biggest problem is that the only time I ever see said coworker is in a work environment. A bit about the woman I'm looking to approach (intentionally ambiguous): She's certainly of a performing mindset, as she has aspirations to be either a professional cheerleader or actress (or both). She certainly has the raw talent, particularly for the role I'm interested in her for, as she has an incredible ability to express herself through facial expressions and body language alone (The role has no spoken lines, and must be portrayd entirely visually). She's extremely attractive, which is also a criteria of the role, and also has a sense of how to look sexy without looking slutty (also needed for the role). Finally, she's also young, which is a must for the role (just turned 18 this past August). The role itself requires no nudity, but does have strong sexual undercurrents. Speaking of this role in a work environment is dangerous at best. I'm trying to figure out the best way to approach her about it. I've given a lot of thought to how I can do it, but nothing really seems to be completely safe (and the last thing I want is to lose my job or end up on the sexual offenders list). First, I've thought about approaching her at work, prefacing it as a non-work related thing, and gradually expressing the full requirements of the role. I've also thought about asking her for her personal email address, so that I could ask her about something "not work related." Any suggestions from the peanut gallery? Keep in mind that my job is as a government contractor, and is highly sensitive to sexual harassment claims. Just asking someone about this role, assuming I explain it, could be construed as sexual harassment (I fucking hate the ultra-sensitive nature of modern America). I want this woman in this role, but I refuse to lose my job over it.

As an experiment to see just how uneducated and ignorant modern America is, I posted a new default picture: Michaelangelo's David. This has been a revered work of fine art for centuries. It is displayed with the utmost of respect, and is a beautiful example of art from the Italian Renaissance, not to mention that it's a representation of a biblical character - David from the David and Goliath story. I want to see how long it takes for some bible thumping, uneducated schmoe to flag it as NSFW. Any educated person will see it as a work of beauty (or, even if you don't like it, will accept it as a piece of art, revered by others). Only the uneducated American moron, who spouts nothing more than Jesus and War (along with a hefty dose of hate of Muslims) thanks to a fascist government would mark this work of fine art as NSFW. Anyone who marks this photo as NSFW is also likely to be someone who wants to burn books and lynch anyone different from them.

Today, I finally bought a new computer. It's an HP laptop. AMD Turion x2 Dual Core processor running at 2.0 gHz. 2 GB RAM 250GB Hard Drive Firewire and media ports. CD/DVD RW drive. 17" Widescreen monitor. Windows Vista (I'm going to see if I like it - I understand that I can still downgrade back to XP if Vista is a pain in the ass). So far, I'm happy with it. Also, with the various media ports, this new computer enables me to pick up the movie project again. I'm finally able to transfer the video into the computer for editing. This machine also has enough juice to perform the editing and video rendering. Hopefully, Zombie Death will finally be ready for Summer Horrorfind, 2008!