Ninja's blog: "Ask the Ninja"

Dear Miss Ninja,
I don't mean to sound superficial, and please don't make fun of me because this is a serious problem. I met a guy online and I was very very cautious about getting serious with him. I let the relationship grow slowly, I spoke with him first in chat, then eventually by phone. I saw him on cam and he shared photos with me. After a year of chatting almost every day we met finally three days ago. He walked down from the gate at the airport and I was so relieved to see he really was the tall dark and handsome man I expected him to be. The attraction was immediate, and we both felt instantly comfortable with each other. On the way home we stopped at a cafe for a glass of wine and a light dinner. That is when things went bad. He raised his glass for a toast, and wrapped around the stem of the glass was the tiniest, fattest little pinkie finger I have ever seen. It's been three days he has been here with me and I can't stop thinking about it and glancing down at it. It barely has a nail on it and keeps reminding me of the penis of a tiny baby. I am not sure I can get over it. Please help.
Signed,
The future Mrs. Stubby?

Dear Mrs Stubby,

If it bothers you that bad, and you really like the guy, you can always arrange for him to have an accident in the kitchen. I suggest stocking up with some really good cutlery, though. You want it to go as smoothly as possible. Then, the bothersome stub will be nothing more than a nub.

Although, it may just have a better use. If you're into anal, you might just want to give that stub a chance. That way you can get your stimulation and avoid walking funny later. Let him get that reach around, and if it works, then girl, you can find a way to work it.