Have you ever gotten to that point in your life you realize, wow... WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO??? I realized last night, I so deeply want someone to be there for me to tell me what I should be doing... some days I feel lost. I feel like I have no one to guide me through the dark. I have so much bullshit on my plate, and I haven't the slightest idea how to handle anything... what do i do?
Man, i whine too damned much, huh? Yeah, I know I do... but I have the right, right? I mean, nothing seems to want to go my way recently... I wish people would listen to what I say, do as I say, then leave me the fuck alone... SOOOO many people are pushing their way to be involved in my life right now, despite how agitated i have been. Man, people don't realize what's going on in my life and in my head... I am going through some seriously rough shit, and I have people worried and concerned about their own feelings, because i am ignoring them, god it's fucking annoying. There are some people i truly WANT involved in my life, and they KNOW who they are, and everyone else, just won't butt out...and man, how many times can a person be told "i love you" in one day before you're like, HOLY FUCKING HELL, WILL YOU STOP IT ALREADY?!?!?!?!? I just want to be left alone... besides the people I WANT in my life... everyone else is annoying me... people don't take the time to consider the drama in my life, in my head, in my heart.... we're coming up on april, it's always tough for me, my mommy died in april, yet people want me making all sorts of plans that involve them, without thinking how hard this is for me... every year, about this same time, i go through the same shit... it's tough for me... I lost my mother... i feel the affects of that every day... What else can I do?? No one really seems to think about me, how things are affecting me... stuff like that... NNNOOOPPPEEEE no one thinks about that, all they care about is themselves, it's fucking bullshit...
anyways, i am gonna do my highlights and head to bed....
