Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.(ALWAYS A GOOD EXCUSE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.( WELL YOU GUYS MUST HAVE NEVER FELL IN TOILET) LMAO GRRR MAKES ME MAD W/ A COLD ASS
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.( YES SO IS SOAP OPERAS)
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.(SHOPPING IS A SPORT,THE SEXIER WE LOOK THE MORE YOUR MIND RACES AND BLOOD PUMPS)
1. Crying is blackmail.(WORKS EVERY TIME FOR THE CHECKBOOK)
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!( BEING SENTIMENTAL TURNS US ON)
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.( I AGREE, ADD ANYMORE WORDS YOU GUYS ALWAYS GET CONFUSED)
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.(HMMM..WHAT ELSE IS A GIRLFRIEND FOR?)
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.( YES BUT YOU GUYS FALL FOR IT EVERYTIME)
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.( SHOOT WE REMEMBER SHIT FROM YEARS AGO)
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.( NO JUST A IN HEAT ANIMAL)
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.( BUT OF COURSE, YOU DONT WANNA BE CUT OFF)
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.( YEAH BECAUSE USUALLY TAKES U GUYS A MONTH TO PLAN IT )
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.( ITS ALWAYS A MOMENT OF SELINCE CUZ THEY DONT HEAR ANYWAY)
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.( THEN WHY DO GUYS ALWAYS STOP FOR DIRECTIONS?)
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.( I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST BLACK N WHITE)
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.( AND IT FEELS SO GOOD FOR THAT SPLIT SEC..LOL )
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.( IF WE SAY WE ARE FINE,BE WARNED)
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.( SO VERY TRUE, BUTTHEADS)
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely any thing you wear is fine... Really.( YES FOR A GUY, BUT A WOMAN WANTS TO LOOK NICE)
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.( LOL TRUE ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE A WASTE OF TIME)
1. You have enough clothes.( NEVER)
1. You have too many shoes. (NEVER)
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!( NEVER TELL A WOMAN THAT...LOL)
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
( YES TO THE COUCH MISTER)
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.( YEAH WITHOUT THE COLOR PEACH)
MEN GIVE THEM A RECLINER, BEER AND A REMOTE, AND SUM MONDAY NITE FOOTBALL AND THERE HAPPY...LOL
