Something must be wrong with me. No really, something must truly be wrong with me. I keep telling myself this is the last time, but it never seems to happen. I mean why in the hell did I let him talk me into letting him come over. "I just want to talk" my ass. I knew exactly what he wanted, but for some reason I caved in. Just look at him hogging all the covers. He doesn't have any type of concern for me. He's a selfish bastard, and I let him in my bed.
I met him three years ago at a friends birthday party. I was attracted to him the minute I saw him and the minute I saw him I knew he'd probably be trouble, but like typical True I wanted him anyway. So I pursued him. And at first like every relationship it was like heaven. We talked for hours on the phone, he took me out all the time, he brought me things, he was romantic. I fell for all the tricks in the book. I was in love, still am and I wanted to believe all of his promises. He had a great way in making things sound so good, hell he still does, he's here isn't he?
He sure knew how to talk off my clothes. I guess that's one of the reasons why I fell for him. He is so good with words. He wrote me the best poetry, and it wasn't any roses are red violets are blue shit. He wrote me sexy, deep and the most romantic poetry that made me quiver every time he recited it to me. And for a time I think he really meant it. Now I guess it's just a game.
Yeah somethings wrong with me alright, I'm in love with an asshole that has no regard for my feelings, who plays games, and seems to be able to talk me into any thing. I guess part of me likes the unpredictable, the danger, the drama. I mean why else do I allow myself to be in this situation time after time.
My friends tell me all the time "get rid of him", "he's a dog." But for some reason I think I can just give him a flea dip thinking they won't come back and of course they always do and of course I get my heart broken.
I must be a masochist or something. Who in their right mind will subject themselves to this pain over and over and over again.
I'm a nice looking woman. I can get a nice man who'll treat me right, who'll love me, who won't play stupid little games.
But noooo I stay with this jerk off and tell all the nice guys "Sorry nice guy but I rather have an asshole because I'm a masochist.
Hmmhmm. Somethings wrong with me. Yep there is. They mine as well lock me up and throw away the key because I'm no good.
Yeah I know. I should kick his black ass out right now, but not tonight.
