Attention: If you want to avoid me bitching about my job for a while, stop reading this post now! I've held my job out of this as much as possible but soon enough there will be a term equivolent to "going Postal" for the public school system. (that is extreme and not true, just trying to sprinkle in humor)
The past two weeks at school have been beastly. I am struggling to find a solution to my dilemmas in classroom management. I am not one to cry from the tribulations that I've encountered, but I'm pretty damn close. Don't get me wrong, it is in no way comparable to my experiences last year with my special ed students. But this year, I am going it alone without the aid of a seven year teacher veteran. I have twenty-six students with a variety of personalities that seem on the verge of spontaneously combusting. Ten of the students are pure angels. They work hard, follow directions, and generally carry themselves with a positive demeanor that helps me drive through those days that I want to just pack up my shit and say fuck it. Before eight students were added to my roster, I could handle the challenges that my misbehaving students posed. We were developing a chemistry that made teaching more than enjoyable. The eight new students are like the darkside of the force and are converting one more fence sitter everyday. My major drama right now consists of students instigating each other and the overreactions that ensue. Many of my students are typical bouncy children that cannot control their physical "ejaculations." The problem arises when they pierce their fellow classmates' bubbles. Instead of immediately apologizing or saying excuse me, they just continue on their way as if nothing has happened. Because a contingent of my kids constantly feel like targets of insidious actions, they react with misguided anger. They make harsh interjections like "You're fat" or "Your momma." If I don't intercede in time the result can be a contentious battle of words or worse, fists. Now I've only had one fight in my presence this school year, but the possibility exists every single day and this keeps me on my toes. Sometimes, they can be quite sneaky and whisper a derogatory remarks into their classmates ear. This creates the problem of me not knowing who was the instigator and who is the reactor. I end up punishing both. The problem becomes confounded since, when they do alert me of the transgressions, they will sometimes lie about what has happened and take no responsibility in their part of the altercation. Thus, like the boy who cries wolf, I never know which students I can believe. This lying issue is so bad that I will watch students commit an act that violates my behavior policy and they will continue to deny their actions. Even after I advise them that I saw them, they STILL say they didn't do it. Why don't you get the parents involved? I do call parents and they will admit their lack of control over their children, or they'll deny that their child is capable of this type of behavior. I had one parent this year already threaten to seek legal counsel and call the school board because I wrote up her daughter for fighting when I witnessed the fight. Her daughter was suspended. Even though I have the support of my principal, who thinks I'm doing a fine job, I'm petrified of the threat that hovers over my head daily. Here I am in a job where I work constantly, hours after the job is over and I am treated with disrespect and a lack of appreciation. It all just makes me sad. I spend my own personal money on classroom resources and rewards for positive behavior (pencils, stickers, candy). I can understand why these last few weeks have been tough. The kids I aquired have not been working for six weeks and are having to play catch up. Four of them were not well behaved to begin with. I empathize, but I am having the hardest time finding solutions. I try moving students into different seating arrangements, but this leads to new disruptive tandems and I only have two seats that are isolated from the other students and they are filled with good reason. I know I'll figure it out. I do not wish to resort to constant write-ups, but if that is what it takes...I know I can solve this. I just need some good faith. It's days like this that I wish I believed in God, or Allah, or Jesus, or Buddha, or Superman.
Okay...that felt cathartic. I apologize for the vent session. But today was one of those days. Two days till Thanksgiving break. I'll be back. Refreshed and ready for the three weeks between now and winter break. Send me some good vibes or a "keep up the good work", cause teaching is a pretty fucking thankless job. Comments are welcome.
Anne you are amazing and I love checking to see what you're thinking. It makes me excited to check the blog.
One more note, transitioning from Football to Basketball...hope it's not premature...go Sixers.
