A friend of mine, Thad, used to bartend part time. It's a rough bar but he made good money. Last Wed. he was trying to break up a fight and one dude pulled a knife and Thad received a good slice to the arm. Severed 4 tendons, partially severed #5. He had surgery today to reattach said tendons. I just got done talking to him on the phone and this is his woman's story but I thought it was funny.
When he woke up from the anesthetic I guess he wasn't 'with it' yet. He woke up demanding a Jeager Bomb, no, not JUST a Jeager Bomb... a Fucking Jeager Bomb. I guess the nurses, whom he described as preppy, were trying to shush him up because there were other patients around but he would have no part of it. And then he made it be known he had to take a 'piss' so his woman helped him to the bathroom. She was standing behind him to steady him and he says "ya know, it feels really good you standing behind me but unless you're gonna hold my cock, back off." He doesn't remember saying any of it. That's just too funny.