HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH!
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's
used size 16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy
of Guns &Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and
magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba,
Big Jim, Duke, Slim, Patty and I went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they
attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him
up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but
it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways, I
locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait
outside. We'll be right back.
