Browneyes AKA ReDnEkGrL's blog: "SOUTHERN GRANDMA"

> > > Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a
> question if they aren't
> > prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern
> small-town prosecuting
> > attorney called his first witness, a
> grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
> > stand.
> > >
> > > He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you
> know me?"
> > > She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
> Williams I've known you since
> > you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
> big disappointment to me.
> > You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
> people and talk about them
> > behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
> when you haven't the brains
> > to realize you never will amount to
> > > anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes,
> I know you."
> > >
> > > The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to
> do, he pointed across the
> > room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the
> defense attorney?" She again
> > replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
> since he was a youngster,
> > too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
> problem. He
> > > can't build a normal relationship with anyone
> and his law practice is one
> > of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention
> he cheated on his wife with
> > three different women. One of them was your wife.
> Yes, I know him."
> > > The defense attorney almost died.
> > >
> > > The judge asked both counselors to approach the
> bench, and in a very quiet
> > voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her
> if she knows me, I'll throw
> > your sorry asses in jail for contempt."