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pennylyn32's blog: "southern gals"

created on 07/25/2008  |  http://fubar.com/southern-gals/b234304

a real southern gal

'Yes, sir.' 'Why, no, Billy!' Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : 'Y'all come back!' 'Well, bless your heart.' 'Drop by when you can.' 'How's your Momma?' Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind Southern women know their religions: Baptist Methodist Football Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy Grits Eggs Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you do not 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them. _____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.' _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.' _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, . as in : 'Going to town, be back directly.' _____ Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____ All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____ Only Southerner's grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20. _____ Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____ No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____ A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____ Only Southerner's make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're in line, we talk to everybody! _ ____ Put 100 Southerner's in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. _____ In the South,y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. _____ Southerner's know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____ Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____ When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin', you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____ Only true Southerner's say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. _____ And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' ... and go your own way. _____ To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____ And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.' Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah ! Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little pea-pickin heart!
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