I know that I am always right,
Of that there is no doubt,"
I said that one day as I put
My jeans on inside-out.
"The folks who think I am not right
Are living in a dream."
I said, and then my teeth I brushed
With handy first-aide cream.
"I never will do wrong,'" I say.
"That is no idle boast,"
As I spread the catsup thick
Upon my morning toast.
"The rightness of my life is such
That it can't be ignored
I said then as the orange juice
I in my coffee poured.
I hurried through the outside door.
To work I planned to ride,
But I had not my key ring. and
I guessed it was inside.
"Since it's is such a lovely day,
A walk will be a treat,"
I reasoned very sadly as
I trudged on down the street.
I pass some laughing people then.
My horror grows and grows
As I observe that all of them
Are pointing at my toes.
Filled with wounded pride, I shout.
"It happens that I CHOOSE
To challenge people's fashion sense
By wearing unmatched shoes!"
"Besides, I chose them carefully,
So they'd both match a sock,"
I say as now my lunch I drop
Into the next mailbox.
"My meatloaf lunch is mailed away!"
I sadly must cry out.
And I do find this meatloaf loss
It makes me want to pout.
"I mailed away my lunch," I muse,
"And that was a mistake."
I fill with deep humility.
My knees, they start to shake.
For I've begun to realize
What I should have seen before.
If ever I was perfect, then
I perfect am no more,
It seems I have been quite wrong
In what I think and do.
(Although, I guess I do not need
Explain all this to you.)
So now I guess I will confess
And cut straight to the chase,
I ask that you forgive me for
This egg upon my face.
