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METAL MAIDEN WICKED NYMPH's blog: "sorrows"

created on 05/04/2008  |  http://fubar.com/sorrows/b213050

why

  THIS IS FROM GOTHIC MAIDEN WICKED NYMPH WHO IS IN HER REDNECK FORM TONIGHT !!!                                                                                                                                                                                                The worst feeling in the world is knowing you've been used and lied to.Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you forever.Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone. Every time I see  you all cool, calm and collected, I lose my breath, my heart starts pounding, and I am painfully aware that i am not over you and you are so over me . I don't know which is worse, being the one with the broken heart or being the person that breaks the hearts. but the funny thing now is.. i realize you always have an out. An exit strategy to make sure you don't get hurt. You always walk away first  .You walk away before they can walk away from you. the sad thing is that as much as i just realized you used me and made it known i was just a whore to you... Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of this one thing you lied to me ...you used me , you took from me things i can never get back again! you took my heart and without care threw it to the ground and stomped on it  ..stomped on it so hard that this time its so shattered i dont know if ill ever collect all the pieces you knew from the begining i was so broken hearted you promised me you would rebuild my heart and never shatter it .......u promised no more nights of crying  no more nightmares and no more hiding in the darkness whats sad is i believed u ....i trusted u and i so deeply love you but as i have said many many times before i do not belong here i never did...... i belong in the darkness ......i belong to the night ......i belong in my safe haven where i am still loved by the freaks of the night ......i belong alone  in my darkness where i remain so cold protected from hurt  .....protected from you! and as much as u damaged me i still wish u happiness and peace and much love in life and i hope you never have to come to my darkness to dwell !

broken

she can hear the rain softly beating against the window as she sits on her  davenport tears streaming down her cheeks...... her heart so shreaded into pieces that she can barly breath ......her hands trembling as she trys to wipe the tears away .......she can not move for it hurts her so much...... her life gone with just a few words spoken to her..... she wishes  to just terminate everything..... she thinks to herself why..... why does it always end up like this?.her mind propelling  with  so many thoughts that she cant keep up with them she loves him ....he is her soul mate ........her heart and beloved........she waited so long for the chance to be with her sweet lover  but her life is in such pandemonium that her hands are bound .......she closes her eyes but she cant stop the tears .......she trys to let out a scream but nothing comes out she lost .......shes lost her heart and soul forever .......her dreams  up in flames .......her soul destined to burn in the fiery pits of hell  spending the remainder of life in Cimmerian shade......never to see brightness .......never wanting to be in the happiness of sunny days ...... for he was her light..... the light that led her from the darkness .......the light that set her free ......made her want to live .....made her feel so alive .....but deep inside she knew it was just too good to be true........ she let her heart go in hopes of of a chance that she could be happy.....but as fate has willed it once again  her heart was destroyed.....  she lets out an ear piercing  shriek for she knows where her place truley is....... far away deep inside the darkness the only place she has ever called home .....tears still streaming down her face she turns around and stares into the blackend hole and begins to walk towards it..... dreading the remainder of life..... knowing all she can do is  sit in the darkened corners  and watch her heart day after day live his life as he moves on..... finds new love..... and begins the family that should have been with her...........

Posted: 02:22 PM, 06/12/09 0 comments     Add Comment     Edit     Remove

 

bleeding in the night

As the rain descended from above it felt cool against her cheeks Her heart ripped from within once again She sat there alone heart broken and in tears as she thought about what he had done to her....She trusted him with her everything. She thought he was sincere but all along he planned and plotted how to use and abuse her and make her feel like a fool once again. All her life never once has she experienced pure happiness. Always being abused always taking the fall always silent never showing her pain.......Her silent pain......No one hearing  her scream ......Her silent screams......No one sees her bleed ....Cutting her flesh to feel alive...... Yet she desperately grasps at the gravel trying to climb out of her rapidly filling grave... She sits all alone shattered and in pieces in the rain .Wondering how could she have been so wrong. Thinking of ways to make him hurt ...To make him feel the agony she feels. Longing to see him suffer with each piece of herself she tries to  pick up. She wants him to feel pain......Wants to chain him up and whip him till his bloody intestines are falling out and his heart is on its last few beats ........Wanting to claw at his eyes and hear him beg for her to leave him his sight  .......... To triturate his skull and feel the warm blood cover her hands..... Pulverize his bones and hear him scream in agony .....Let her hear his distress ........Let him feel this fucking pain .....Her fucking pain within ......Reality sets in as the rain starts to slow down ......She sits there soaked in the rain .....Her tears hidden once again ...... Her heart broken.... Her soul bleeding  ...Alone and crawling back to her darkness .......Her secluded darkness where she can sit and collect her shattered remains ........ "

the darkside

she is abandoned ,forsaken, hurt , her heart shattered and just feeling so isolated she trys and trys but its never enough she slowly realizes she will never have that kindred love she sits on the old wooden pier so close to the water she can feel the ocean waves crash against her feet the mist feeling so good against her tear stained cheeks she crys for she does not know what she has done wrong yes she was an evil child but she has come a long way since then now as the years had passed she is still labeled a lire ,a looser a misfit in her clans eyes and because shes been told so many times before she thinks to herself just maby there right ....no matter what she does even if its right they tell her its wrong the angel of unity shuns her the father of life evades her the sisters of hope and trustscoff at her she was born to the wrong existence not even her friends of peace and security feel she is worth holding on to she longs to return to her darkness her safe haven where she is always welcomed where she is away from everything that s destroying her her sweet blanket of darkness that covers her and protects her from harm she belongs there she knows in her heart she belongs to the underworld a place where no one judges....... others like her live in the secret catacombs of the dark side living in peace and feeling like they finally have there place in life as for her she sees nothing and longs to be alone longs to find the entrence back to the darkness where she can finally be free and never have to hurt again

anger

As the rain descended from above it felt cool against her cheeks Her heart ripped from within once again She sat there alone heart broken and in tears as she thought about what he had done to her....She trusted him with her everything. She thought he was sincere but all along he planned and plotted how to use and abuse her and make her feel like a fool once again. All her life never once has she experienced pure happiness. Always being abused always taking the fall always silent never showing her pain.......Her silent pain......No one hearing her scream ......Her silent screams......No one sees her bleed ....Cutting her flesh to feel alive...... Yet she desperately grasps at the gravel trying to climb out of her rapidly filling grave... She sits all alone shattered and in pieces in the rain .Wondering how could she have been so wrong. Thinking of ways to make him hurt ...To make him feel the agony she feels. Longing to see him suffer with each piece of herself she tries to pick up. She wants him to feel pain......Wants to chain him up and whip him till his bloody intestines are falling out and his heart is on its last few beats ........Wanting to claw at his eyes and hear him beg for her to leave him his sight .......... To triturate his skull and feel the warm blood cover her hands..... Pulverize his bones and hear him scream in agony .....Let her hear his distress ........Let him feel this fucking pain .....Her fucking pain within ......Reality sets in as the rain starts to slow down ......She sits there soaked in the rain .....Her tears hidden once again ...... Her heart broken.... Her soul bleeding ...Alone and crawling back to her darkness .......Her secluded darkness where she can sit and collect her shattered remains ........
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