Pedro El Awesomeo needs Bombs's blog: "Encephalon"

I have a lunch meet and greet with the new CIO today.  It's something he is doing to get to know the technology leaders.  I really tend to hate these corporate events, be it team building, socials, or get to know you type deals.  Call me cynical, but I am here because I am paid to be, not because I just really like all the people, and it's a great place to hang out.  The people I work with do have some influence on where I work, if I don't like any of them, I may think about leaving, but for the most part to get on my good list, you just have to leave me alone and let me do my job.  It's not that I don't have a good set of skills in my social toolbox, I can shoot the shit with the best of them, it's just that I believe that the happenstances of fate that made us work for the same company is not necessarily the basis for lifelong friendship, well except for Hank Mardukis who I worked with at IBM.

Anyone, inevitably at one of these things you are supposed to get up and say a couple things about yourself.  Usually you say what you like to do on your off time, or what you are proud of, or some pre-approved HR topic.  My goal in these situations is to say something that is so disinteresting, so bland that no one will feel the need to discuss it with me further.  Now most people will think that the best idea here is to go with something off-putting like "I spend my weekends with my Satanic Cult, preparing for the coming of the Anti-Christ" but this wouldn't be the best option.  I don't want them to talk to me, but I also don't want to talk about me.  In the past I have tried saying things that I figure no one would be interested in "On weekends, I take part in historical re-enactments of the Whiskey Rebellion" but then you find that someone is going to find that very interesting, and they'll want to talk to you about it over and over again.  Brutal honesty is also not a good policy, as most people do not like to hear that the thing you like to do on your off time is "not work." 

Things like classic cars, any fitness pursuits (marathons, triathlons, mountain biking, etc), are obviously bad because anyone who is in to those are usually pretty passionate about it, so you know you are going to get someone who wants to talk to you. Some things you would typically think of safe boring topics, such as fishing, ham radios, or model railroad building are what I call land mines, because inevitably someone who is speaking after you has the exact same interest and cannot wait to talk to you about it.  Bland and forgettable rule the day here, so I stay away from anything like Wine Tasting, or French Cuisine, because that inevitably leads to some follow up. 

I think my plan today will probably be something simple, I may just say that I like going to movies.  I figure that should be generic and boring enough that it should brook no follow up.  I tell you, it is a real burden in life to be someone that people want to talk to.