pandabear's blog: "somedays"

I'm so tired of trying to make everyone happy, of putting on a smile when I know I don't feel like smiling. I'm tired of waking up every morning and knowing that I have to fight for my life because if I don't there is over a 50% chance that I will die. I'm tired of having to control my emotions and my anger. I'm just tired

why is it that there are men that lie and lie and lie to their girls and there are men that tell the truth and would give anything to please their girl. Somedays I am so lost and confused by what is going on in this world or with the people in it. I have worked since I was 14 almost 15 years old, Everything I have right now I have worked my ass off for and am still working my ass off for! Isn't there just ONE guy out there that wants to help out their girl and not blow his money away on drugs, booze, and friends. I may only be 19 but since i was 12 I have been treated like I was an adult and it has really got me no where in life except more responsabilities, bills and debt. Anymore I give up on trying to have an honest relationship because my last 3 have been a joke.

I am here to meet new people because the few people that i do know do not talk to me anymore, because i got sick.