The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy. - Steve Martin
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery
Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer
Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. - Mrs. White, (Clue 1985)
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives
It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757
Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!
