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So as of today ~ he seems to have it all under control ~ I thought this trip home was fantastic..that is until I found the thumb drive ..complete with at least 100 pictures of her...no wonder he spends so much time watching that stupid show ~ she's blonde, six foot five inches tall, boob job, blue eyes and stick figure...as you can see I am none of those things ~ along with her pictures..were tons of pictures of naked or as close as you can get to being naked ..sprawled out all over the semi's he seems to be so in love with...for a split second I thought I was in love again...16 years ...and not until 2006 did he make me feel like less then a woman..and even then I knew it wasn't the end of all this ~ he's just managed to hide it better..that is until this weekend..when I found his 'stash' ~ no wonder he never sleeps with me...or cuddles or for that matter kisses me...the hugs are the same you get when you're saying hello to an old friend you've not seen in ages...he tells me I'm beautiful and I'm the only one he wants..but I know better...I hate this life...he claims I've become old before my time...he calls me his baby'mamma...which is ridiculous...because his ...our..son is 16 years old..and I've never called him my baby'daddy ~ I should leave..but where would I go...and it's not like he's home ...being a truck driver means he's gone 3.5 weeks a month..so why leave... I can just put up with his crap while he's here..or at least make it so when he IS home...I'm either out with my friends, or make up that mother nature is visiting ~ I'm sure some part of him cares, but once our son is old enough to be in college..out of the house...there'll be no reason for me to stay...I can get in my car...and just drive...and never ..look back
