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drwallyb's blog: "ramblings"

created on 07/16/2008  |  http://fubar.com/ramblings/b232061

solitude

I find that not many people get me. A few think they know me, others don't care to know me. I'd much rather get to know the latter. I miss those moments of seemless conversation free of strained useless chatter and full of meaningful useless chatter. Maybe I just miss my friends, maybe I miss HAVING friends. I probably miss the past more then anything because even my friends are in a total different place now. It's like when you're on a train but you're the only one who gets off at the station before the last. They traveled with out me, talked, laughed, cried... and so even if it was just 1 stop(year) away... it's lightyears away. Because of this I've resented friendship as a whole, building a wall of intolerance around me. I judge, I calculate, and sentence people to 3-5years of being not worthy. I raise my standards to obscene levels that not many can meet. Which explains why I'm almost friendless. I consciously do it to myself for a variety of reasons.
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