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Adrianna.. Rest in Peace

And another day I am awoken with a phone call that one of my best friends has passed away. Her name is Adrianna..I called her many things including Adiedoo, Adri-ya-ya, or just Adri. Her brother called me this morning, and I won't go into details because I am not sure what the family wants, but never the less, she is not here anylonger. I feel pissed at not only death itself, but at myself for the time I wasted not being around her. We were inseperable at one point, then when Dawn and I broke up things took a different turn. I suppose it was hard going from the "Trio" we were used to, down to dealing with me drinking my sorrows away at the local pub and watching me die slowly, and Dawn starting her new life, with her new college friends and new boyfriend. It was too much for her, and well..I was being selfish. I fucking hate myself for that. She saw both of her once "best friends" travel down different roads and become people she no longer recognized. Fuck man, thats just horrible. Thankfully I was smart and a few months ago contacted her again, and even more to be thankful for, was she decided to give me yet another chance. Thank you Adri...thank you so much. I remember the first time I saw her again, it was like we picked up right where we left off..I hadn't laughed that hard in literally years. So many memories together..like the first time we all really hung out, we would come up with some of the most outrageous things and just make each other laugh. Our famous double mind fart, where we both convinced each other a female cow was a "Sow cow" and not just simply a cow, to when we were out at faire and we had all been drinking around the campfire and she asked me to accompany her to the potties where she ended up breaking her zipper and earning the name "Zippy". God, its sad to think I will never get to hear her laugh again. I can't help but feel that she isn't completely gone..I'm not sure if that is from my own stubbornness to let go, or if she really is here with us. Either way, I know she is no longer in pain. I fucking miss you Adri... -Kenji

Lost

I could fill a thousand oceans with the tears I have cried for you waking in the morning being one, instead of two. scars on my heart taken my sanity I have forgotten what it is to be me Lost on a road with a solmn moon mourning the one I lost too soon sunshine, my sunshine you warmed my soul now it is frozen in this hell and I am lost beyond control This was written about someone I lost to death long ago. You will forever be in my memory..

Razorblade

Watching everything through her mind How could she be so blind? Warm on cold heart, and hands Not even she could meet her demands finding whats inside the lies enjoying youth before it dies Blindness is a pathetic way to live your life just one more day Turn the key, open the door another chance? perhaps one more.. walk this path..but not a step too far come to grips with who you are. and a single tear will fall, a single tear will end it all. -Klf (2006)

Never again

How nice it was to have someone to love A hand to hold that fit mine like a glove You were my friend, my partner, my goal The one lover with whom I could share my soul but like all in life, love does fade and I will forever lay in this bed that I have made Perhaps it is good this way, like you said Maybe it's better I battle the demons in my head It could be that its easier to leave me in my shame Even better if you simply just forgot my name Not another night, nor day your arms to hold not one more laugh, one more smile to behold though the times we shared to me seemed few mean nothing now, nothing now, nothing to you. So goodbye my lover, my soul, my friend I hope that one day, my heart will mend until that time one thing is true though you can forget me, I shall never forget you... -K

Minute by hour

A month has since past how long will this last? Endless tears shed, mind devoured It gets no easier minute by hour. I've lost my way, forced to keep the beat not missing a step, no slip of the feet. Some have come, but even more have gone seems to be my night has no dawn. No silver linings, no faith, nor hope I just keep sliding on this down hill slope. As you travel forward don't look back for me just move on, let go, set yourselves free. all I want in this world has left me exiled you did not lose me I lost myself when death took my child. farewell my friends, my life and my pride Sincerely, -the girl who's soul has died. KLM 2007
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