Trapped in the maddening grips of this pain is driving me insane. Knowing I caused you to hurt burns more than tears on open wounds. I turned into your December and forgot that you were my sunshine in June; I pray to see you soon your absence is killing me this emptiness is hollowing my heart and making me feel like a beautiful monster. In time I hope that you will believe that you have all of me and the coldness that I once showed you was not the real me that captured your precious love, it was merely a cult of the darker side of my personality, that I have rejected and released as I am surely becoming renewed through the blood of the lamb. Now all I have is dreams of what may come and dreading that maybe it’s all a dream or maybe it’s just a beautiful nightmare that I can’t be awakened from and if it is I pray I die dreaming of the joy that I once had in you.