THE WISEST MAN I EVER KNEW TAUGHT ME SOMETHING I NEVER FORGOT. AND ALTHOUGH I NEVER FORGOT IT, I NEVER QUITE MEMORIZED IT EITHER. SO WHAT IM LEFT WITH IS THE MEMORY OF HAVING LEARNED SOMETHING VERY WISE THAT I CANT QUITE REMEMBER.
STIES ARE CAUSE BY WATCHING YOUR DOG SHIT.
SOMETIMES A LITTLE BRAIN DAMAGE CAN HELP.
WE'RE ALL FUCKED. IT HELPS TO REMEMBER THAT.
I FEEL SORRY FOR HOMELESS GAY PEOPLE; THEY HAVE NO CLOSET TO COME OUT OF. IN FACT, I IMAGINE IF YOU WERE GAY AND HOMELESS, YOU,D PROBABLY BE GLAD JUST TO HAVE A CLOSET.
I'VE ADOPTED A NEW LIFESTYLE THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE MY PRESENCE. IN FACT, IF I DONT WANT TO, I DONT HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED AT ALL, AND I STILL GET CREDIT FOR A FULL DAY.
I CANT BEAR TO GO TO THE CHILDREN'S ZOO. I ALWAYS WONDER HOW THEIR PARENTS CAN ALLOW THEM TO BE KEPT IN THOSE LITTLE CAGES.
IF YOU TAKE CORN OFF THE COB, NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE CORN-OFF-THE-COB, YOU ALSO HAVE COBS-OUT-FROM-INSIDE-THE-CORN.
WHY DO FOREIGN SOLDIERS MARCH FUNNY? DO THEY THINK WE MARCH FUNNY? IF WE DO, HOW WOULD WE KNOW?
IF YOU MAIL A LETTER TO THE POST OFFICE, WHO DELIVERS IT?
RARELY DOES A LOOSE WOMAN HAVE A TIGHT PUSSY.
SOME SEE THE GLASS AS HALF EMPTY, SOME SEE THE GLASS AS HALF FULL. I SEE THE GLASS AS TOO BIG
WHITE PEOPLE FUCKED UP THE BLUES.
IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, SET THEM FREE; IF THEY COME HOME, SET THEM ON FIRE.
TRY EXPLAINING HITLER TO A KID.
THE STRAIGHTEST LINE BETWEEN A SHORT DISTANCE IS TWO POINTS.
