Annelid's blog: "Ramblings,thoughts and assorted stuff"

In the past 3 days I've gotten less than 20 hr's of sleep. I'm barely coherent. Which would I guess be my modus operandi anyways. I really want to get away from here. Here being New Jersey, this apartment, this area... Take me and the kitties,some clothes and just go. But I know,I'll stay here and be utterly miserable.... Misery is what I know,what I thrive on, what I am. My head is pounding, My eyes tired. I have zero appetite. I've been drinking alot of water and juice...one musn't get dehydrated. Heh. I've watched a few movies lately...those being : 1. Requeim for a Dream 2. Pi 3. Fight Club and tonight I shall watch Memento. G0d, those movies are so utterly depressing. Especialy RFAD. Ever watch a movie and it leaves you empty? That movie does it to me everytime. Another movie that left me empty and in tears was "Last American Virgin". Yes, it was supposed to be a dopey 80's comedy and it had it's moments. However the last part of the movie left me feeling so sad. One day I have to track down that movie and watch it again. Nothing like compounding one's depression. :) Lately I'm more depressed that usual. I'm surprised I've actually sat through a whole movie. I haven't played with the keyboards that much. Forget about video games. Fubar,Yahoo and all that....hold nothing for me as of late. Sleep. Sleep is what I've been into. Dreaming...or trying too. My dreams are the best..everything good happens there....I'm successful,loved,healthy and all that. It's when I awake is when the horror show begins. I really strive to think of a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Other than feeding the kitties and giving them water I'd prefer to sleep. I think i'm going to try to get some now.