sirmagic's blog: "Sir Magic Kinky Thoughts & Life Reflections"

So you want to call yourself a Slave? by SirMagic 'the darkangel'[TM] (Lexington Kentucky) Keep in mind something there are no absolutes in life. There is no reality only perception. The following is a prosepctive based upon my 24 years of experience, your reality may differ. BDSM ...is much like the oceans of the world, broad deep and varied. As with nature it ebbs, flows, changes and has logic and language all it's own. It is no secret I am a traditionalist. I began my journey into this world over 24 years ago, before the World Wide Web existed in the form we know today. In other words, I was doing this before AOL existed. In our world "all slaves are submissive (sub's) but not all subs are slaves". In the more traditional or older practiced protocols, the slave is the highest form of submissive. To be recognized as a slave is an honor and a form of accomplishment. In a sense with traditional lifestyle practitioners, a sub plays at living it. A slave lives it. This is a common view among long time RT (real time) BDSM folks much to the dislike of VT or virtual (cyber ) players. This piece of writing isn't about cyber. It is a Traditionalist point of view about sensual slavery as a real lifestyle, not a cyber-sex (chat room) diversion or escape. I am here to help you ask the question, "Am I a slave ?" The sub: Does pleasing and serving others give you a strange sense of inner satisfaction? When you were young did you always love to play the captured one or the slave girl/boy? Did you have to be the one who served the tea at the make believe tea parties as a little girl ? Does the thought of being owned, being property turn you on? A submissive is one who hears the calling to submit, to surrender their control to another and not only obey, but serve. A sub lives to give of themselves to another; to see the needs of their Dominant come first. In doing this, the submissive fulfills a deep, aching, silent void within them. Do not think just because someone is a submissive they are weak. To the contrary, some of the strongest individuals I know are sub's and slaves. Within BDSM there is a saying, "I'm submissive, not stupid ". What this ultimately means in my eyes is with "if you look down upon a submissive for being so, you have totally missed the whole point... and you're an asshole. The "sub" differs from the slave in key area's. Technically, as much as I dislike it, you can "be" submissive and it is something you can "do". A submissive has a laundry list of things they will NOT do and conditions they will only serve under. With the proliferation of on-line BDSM chat rooms and cyber "wannabes" the line between sub and slave has been seriously blurred. It is not uncommon now for the term "sub" or "slave" to be used interchangeably when in essence they ARE different things. From my perspective, as a long time, real life practitioner, if you are Married or cyber, you can be a sub. However, until you are at the feet of your Dom (or Dominant) with their collar around your neck, you can't be a slave in the true sense of the term. If you are married and your Dominant is someone other than your spouse, I don't see how you can truly be a slave. The old saying applies here, "you can't serve two Masters (Mistresses)". The Slave: A slave is everything a sub is, but has taken it to a higher plane. Being a slave isn't something you just do, a slave is something you ARE ! It is more than submission, it is a state of mind; a state of complete and total spiritual surrender of your empirical essence to another. For a slave, life is about service, to their Dominant and others. A true slave lives to not only give pleasure, but be enjoyed as well. For a slave, there is NO greater pleasure than for their Master or Mistress to set them upon a task, use them sexually or have them used. A slave in essence has few or NO limits. Their Dominant has absolute control over their, life, body, mind and soul. They find the act of someone having such power over them an immense turn on and comfort which completes their whole being. There are many forms of service but for simplicity I'm going to break it down into three: The Pleasure slave: This is probably the most common form of service otherwise known as sexual service. Everyone talks about pleasure slaves, many even make the claim but few truly understand what it really means or entails. A true pleasure slave exists to be used sexually. You have no say about when, where, how or who. That is now the right of your Dominant to decide, not you. Within this concept there are some givens which I will mention. You are property or chattel, however you are valued property and your Master or Mistress WILL NOT, should NOT place you at serious risk. In other words, if your owner chooses to "give" you to another for their enjoyment, is the Dominant's responsibility to ensure safe sex or other arrangements are made. A pleasure slave usually is a highly sexual being, or is trained to be. A smart Master or Mistress knows it is unwise to ever allow a pleasure slave complete satisfaction, for they are meant to be in a state constant sexual excitement. The latter is very important. Pleasure slaves understand they exist for one thing (basically) and one thing only; and they are to be ready at all times. Do you have what it takes to be a pleasure slave? Does the thought of being tied down, bent over and being used (Insert gratuitously fucked here) excite you? Do you find yourself dreaming of being a sexual object boy / girl toy a central theme in your fantasies? Have you found, during your past sexual encounters, you enjoyed pleasing your partner more than pleasing yourself? Is there a deep sensual fire burning within you to be set free? Do you find yourself wanting it all the time? At the core of your being are you a (for lack of a better word) a SLUT? Does the thought of someone else having complete control over your sexuality for THEIR pleasure call to you? Do you want to be owned? Can you let go of everything that you think you are in order to find yourself? Are you intelligent, outgoing and capable of learning? If you answered yes to at least 9 of these questions you may have what it takes. Beyond this, pleasure slaves are traditionally trained in other arts besides sexual pleasure. The Domestic slave: There are those who get great pleasure and dream of life revolving around Domestic" service. A Domestic slave is just as dedicated as a pleasure slave but their calling is serving the needs of their Master's or Mistress's household. The best Domestic slaves enjoy picking up after their owners. They are consummate cooks, neat, orderly and it is their personal duty to protect their Dominants Castle from the forces of dirt. With a competent domestic slave at hand, a Dominant have never want of a clean shirt or warm meal. The Dominant is the spiritual backstop or anchor of their life. They are the caretakers of order for the Dominants universe. The Business Slave: They are often called, "Executive assistants", "personal companions", "personal secretaries" and other such mundane names. Often they are not only a slave but an employee in some cases as well. Like the Domestic slave they bring order to a Dominant's universe, except they do it not only at the Dominants feet but in the business arena as well. It is not uncommon for the business slave to be responsible for running their Dominant's business and still be a total slave in mind, soul and body. Don't let this duality fool you, it is more than possible for a devoted slave, and competently run a multinational company. Being a slave is a reflection of WHO you are, not necessarily what you are capable of accomplishing. Final Thoughts and points: If you think being a slave is easy, mindless and a great escape from the responsibilities of your life decisions, you're wrong ! What makes an outstanding slave is this: A great slave is intelligent, dedicated, motivated and loyal. They understand the Master (Mistress) / slave relationship is built on a foundation of trust and a consuming need to serve. Within their absolute surrender, they realize being a slave is HARD work and are not afraid of it. Do not think the Dominant has it easy either. A slave requires immense care, time and work. A Dominant should not even consider taking a slave in a 24/7 relationship until he or she has matured. This is where many inexperienced Dominants set themselves and the slave in their care upon the road to disaster. If you have made it this far, either in your heart or soul you "hear the call". If you don't, I hope you have been enlightened. If you do, look within, accept who and what you are. You have a road before you. Do you have the guts to walk that road? If you truly are a slave soul, then you must follow it. If you don't you shall know NO peace until you do. There will forever be a singular void within your spirit you'll neither understand nor vanquish. This I know, "slave soul". I am your Yin. You are my Yang. We are two parts of a whole, a never-ending balance of opposing needs, locked together forming a singular and powerful universe and spiritual bond. If this essay called to you I invite your comments, thoughts or opinions. Do you feel the pull, hear the call of a slaves life ? Do you think you have what it takes to be formally trained as a classical "service oriented" pleasure slave ? This is NOT a fantasy, this is House Darkangel http://www.darkangel.com/kinks-house.html 1999 Sir Magic "..the Darkangel".[TM] All rights reserved

Dear Magic: Your writing on Soul Mates really touched me. [ SNIP] So here I am, he says he loves me but I feel like I'm in this relationship alone. It's like everything else matters but us and when I tell him we have a problem he will yes me to death but nothing ever changes. I feel like we are not even on the same planet anymore and i have been put into this box and kept there until he's ready to deal. So how do I get him to understand ? How do I get him to see I'm reaching out to make it work again because I'm tired of doing all the work. Am I making any sense ? Help. lacie. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Lacie. It is said the universe moves in mysterious ways. Call it irony, call it serendipity, fate or just a syncretistic coincidence but yes I know what you mean. First off, I'm not paragon of virtue nor perfection or great sage. I have my quirks, my faults just like everyone else. Let me guess - it's like banging your head against a closed locked door isn't it ? Recently I've come to learn some lessons in this area and I'm not sure if my lessons or path are yours but here you go. You can love a person to death and give it your all, but you can only control yourself. No amount of love you can give will convince them to open back up to you and let you in or take you out of that box. They have to make a decision to take real action and open that door or take down that wall or remove you from that box. We teach people how to treat us, so at some point you have to ask yourself is this relationship of "existence" or in "words" only acceptable to me ? Now don't be fooled the easiest thing to do in the world is just sit there avoid the issue and keep doing what you're doing. However there is a saying "Do what you always do, get what you always got! " If you have done everything you can, looked hard at yourself and your contribution to the situation and taken responsibility for your part; pulled hard at the sides of the box and banged on those walls then there is nothing more you can do. Ultimately, it takes two and they have to make a meaningful effort not just you. What you could do is put the ball in his court and leave it at that and move on. Now here's the real sad part, sometimes by the time they figure out you are someone they want, your no longer there. Do I think if you put the ball in his court he'll "do something" ? No I don't. People who tend to wait until they absolutely have to make a choice in life usually wait until they see it's too late. Ironically then they come running and expect you to jump. Also since he has disengaged from you and is not willing to reengage or worse just doesn't have what it takes the odds are not good. I'm sorry and I'm willing to be wrong, but there are some rules of human nature which rarely ever change. But we can hope can't we ? If you do decide to move on, expect it to be your fault no matter what you do. You may encounter some passive aggressive behavior or out right anger. Sort of if you really cared why are you not continuing to slam your head again my walls sort of logic. Beyond that, I don't know all I can tell you is I share your frustration and pain. But at some point you have to do what is right for you. If they wake up in time and make a serious effort great, but for some people it's just easier to be ambiguous. Sorry I wish I had some sage miracle advice, but I don't. Warm regards, Sir Magic -- SirMagic's Rule # 8 We put forth our perfections to dazzle the world with our self perceived light. But often it is our imperfections which bind our lovers and relationships together. ~ Sir Magic ~ Magic's World http://www.darkangel.com

Who am I: ? (The age old question) I'm soft spoken, straight, sensual, kinky, very erotically Dominant (not a control freak) 6'1", 240 lb semi-muscular male. I'm refined, articulate, witty, educated, with a bittersweet DARK SOUL. This is NOT to say I'm negative, far from it. If anything I'm a pragmatist who sees the glass as half full NOT half empty like so many. As a person I have faced my own mortality, inner truths and flaws. Life for me is a constant journey to "do better and be better". Like most humans some days I live up to it, other days a fail miserably. I'm a (Anthony)Tony Robbins, Dr Wayne Dyer, John Maxwell and Dr Phil Disciple. I have a simple saying: "BDSM Leather Mastery is not built in a day, it is built daily." ~Sir Magic~ I love the four "S"s : Sushi, Sashimi, Scifi and Sluts. Those who know me say I'm a very dynamic person I am not only comfortable in an Art Museum or Black Tie Affair but the backwoods and trails as well. I have a passion for life, without being materialistic, things can be replaced. I am a ROGUE and proudly so. I do have principles and a clear code of honor. I don't play negative head games however I am no saint. I believe in deeper spiritual meanings and the greater interconnection of life. How could I not as a high order paranormal and trained "empath". There is a higher power, unfortunately we humans just can't agree what to call it. Frankly I dont care, to me all paths up the mountain end up in the same place.-- The Dom/Top Side: I entered formal training as a New Guard Dominant at the age of 17 in a Boston area House. This translates into 25 years of experience. ~~ Whoopy DO!!! For all you know I could be an ass this really doesn't mean E-coli. ~~ Often "time" is NOT a determinate of ability. I've known people with just a few years of experience with great competence and wisdom and met those with a lifetime who were complete idiots. As a Dominant, I'm protocol driven as a rule, but then let's be real, we have to function in the real world and reality intrudes often. Good or bad in the past I have tended to let my relationships find there own natural balance and go from there. If I had to label myself I am 65% Dominant (D/s) and 35% Top (S/m). As a TOP I can be Easy and Sensual (Restraint and Pleasure - R & P) or I do have the skills and ability to be the most Sadistic Mother Fornicator on the planet. Frankly, it has depended on whom I'm with at the time. I used to live in Tampa Florida and was very active and known in the Central Florida BDSM scene and I'll be the first to admit I miss it. Why I'm here: Part of my personal path to Leather Mastery is I must serve by helping others. I'm looking to make friends, meet people and network with those new or not so new who are interested in learning more. I'm a lifestyler, I enjoy what I do and constantly seek to improve and guide others. I guess you could say I'm a BDSM educator since I have in the past lectured at BDSM conventions and I plan to return to that next year with a vengeance. I am an active member of the Central Kentucky BDSM scene so do expect to see me at Kufs, Paradox and the Louisville Munch meetings. Plus occasionally other Munchs and Events in Indiana and southern Ohio. If you're new and you want to be hooked into the local scene contact me and I'll point you in the right direction. For those of you ladies who are beginners, don't be intimidated. It's not a sin to be new. I personally know the heads of several submissive support groups and I'll be glad to introduce you to them so that you can pursue your own personal journey with those submissives (not Dominants) who can best guide you. Please do not pre-suppose I would not be interested in talking to introducing your to others who can assist you. This would be patiently unfair not only to me, but perhaps to yourself. You never know maybe you have something to teach me, teach someone else or I you. For those who are curious enough to want to get a deeper sense of what I'm about I invite you to read my website Magic's World at Darkangel.com NOTICE to Male subs: I'm flattered but I'm Straight you will NOT be the exception to my orientation.