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SiN's blog: "SiN vs SuN"

created on 12/19/2006  |  http://fubar.com/sin-vs-sun/b35818

Here it comes...

I was not going to do this, but it's going to come out of me one way or another, so I might as well archive it somewhere only my family can find me. I come home early. I notice an odd car in my parking space. I see some of you know where this is going already. I call Her. Hi hon, hows your day? Anything interesting going on? Bored huh? We'll see. I walk in my house, first thing I hear is oh shit and a door slam shut. This is the point where I found out where this was going. I walk through a door that hasn't been closed in ages or so I thought, kitties can't get to the litter box if it is, just the layout of my house. I notice my liquor is gone. Another bottle of rum, not my brand is on the table. He is pretending to sleep on the couch. Stop. Don't do this Jason. Forget about it, go spend some time with Uncle Satan. You knew. Rewind. We've been fighting for awhile now, I'm not really sure whats wrong, everything I do or say seems to lead to a fight. We have a roommate I'm letting rent a room. We fight about that alot too. I'm staying at my brothers house. He's a good man, lets me crash on his couch when my life gets complicated. Side note: One crazy night it's pouring down rain at a concert and he has his glasses off wiping the rain off and his eyes are shrunk back into his head. He looks just like the Satan in an uncly sort of way... Funny cause he's the godliest man I know. End side note. I realize I don't want to sleep on this couch anymore, I've been sleeping on various couches for damn near two weeks now. I get in the car. I don't really remember when the hell we were fighting about anyways, probably something stupid I did or said, or something Trip said or did. It's funny how life works, your about to do something anyways and then whatever, or whoever doesn't think you've quite suffered enough. I get a call. Jay, come home, She has had two guys in your room all night and the door is locked. What? You liar! My heart is going to come out of my chest. I get to the house, Trip has the door unlocked for me. My bedroom door isn't shut, I can see it from the entrance to my violated domicile. I do see the two men sitting with Her in my bed. Where is my sword? The bedroom of course. That was a stupid thought anyway, she's not worth going to jail, she's not worth... well thats just not true is it? I wouldn't be crying if it were. I walk into my room. This piece of shit looks shocked to see me and I notice he looks at my dresser... his knife... I walk over to it and pick it up... kinda dinky if you ask me... I pick up my knife laying hidden in the entertainment center... I've got a good four inches on this little fuck. I force a smile. Sweetheart, could I speak with you for a minute? You don't mind that we're here do you dude? Did it just have the balls to speak to me? Not very intelligent, are you kid? No, it's not alright that you spent the night in my room, on my bed with my woman. She speaks, Jason it's not like that! Glare. WITH my door closed. It's disrespectful, and you will leave my house now. I can't believe how calm I am in this moment. I am finished. Fast Forward. Once again I am sleeping on Uncle Satan's couch. How the HELL does this keep happening?! Well it's been fun here actually. I want my playstation. I want to play FullMetal Alchemist. I swing by my house. After all, She should be at work. She's not. I don't care I just want my playstation and I'm gone. She just woke up and we are screaming at each other again. The fuck you mean I can't take MY gaming console to my friends house? whoa, she doesn't usually throw things at me. Rewind. It is a bad night. I've done something wrong again, this time I called her a fucked up bitch somewhere during the argument over the phone. Shes pissed. She almost hit me when she parked the car. She gets out and is kicking me, pushing me, punching me. My momma woulda been proud of me, I watched her get beat, so I know better than to ever raise my hand to a woman. But I'm not above picking one trying to beat the crap out of me up and throwing her out on my front lawn. She's screaming about how I am an abusive bastard for doing it! Shes not the one whos head is bleeding. I told her when we first got together, there is one thing I will NEVER tolerate again in my life. I will not be hit, I had enough of that from Paul the son-of-a-bitch. My mothers 2nd husband. Turns out she never married my dad... guess I really am a bastard. Abusive? Maybe I did go too far by throwing, and I do mean throwing, her out. I wish she would have left when I asked and then screamed at her to do it. I feel guilty. I call the police. Hello? Yes I'm told I'm abusive. Here, talk to her about it. The shock on her face when she realized I wasn't kidding... Priceless. I'm not proud, but I will not be beat... unless it's by someone who knows how to make it good... Fast Forward. She's still throwing things... now it's my electronics. She's picking up my television... Holy shit, she's not gonna throw... Okay it's time to vacate, I'll figure something out when she's calmed down. I'm at mikes house again. I got the playstation... It's broken. She broke my playstation. Bitch. My cell phone is ringing, it has been since I got out of that hell hole I call home. I answer. She's here. Fuck. No I will not come outside. Yes I'm a chicken shit. Fuck you. What about the gun at the house? Oh fuck. She's telling me she's going to shoot herself. Okay, I have a difficult decision to make, call the cops again, try to handle it myself and probably wind up shot, or do nothing. Thats an easy decision, I'll do nothing right? So I'm on the phone with the police, and she's locked herself in my house, I get there with the key, I hand them my phone, talk her down please. She's comming out. No gun on her, so they let her go back inside and tell me they are leaving. You have got to be shittin me! The police are useless. I'm shocked. Really. I can't believe this asshole is threatening to cuff me if I don't stop telling them to do their job and at least get the gun away from her. No she's not on the title to the house, no I don't want her their. Tell her to leave. Right. Thats worked in the past, so why not. Asshole. They are gone. I think I'll call in the only person I know who can handle things like this. Hi momma. No things aren't really going well. Yeah She is in the house right now. No the cops didn't do anything. Okay, see you soon. I love my mother. I'm a mommas boy. I am quite proud of that. I don't talk to my mother much anymore and I'm not proud of that, but this is kinda a special occasion isn't it? Mom is here. She has such a way with words. They are going to go out and get a drink. Yes I'll find the gun and dispose of it while you two are out. Thanks mom. You fuckin rock. Gun is gone. I've changed the locks. Her stuff is out of my house. She is out of my life. She took my pit bull, Invader Zim. Bitch. Small price to pay, but I miss my boy alot. Today, I am sitting in front of my computer writing about my "love" life on cherrytap.com God I love this site, I'm still pretty new to it, but some of the most beautiful and wonderfully nice people are here. I've just finished rating about 300 or so pictures and a few profiles. Posted some semi-advice on a really cute goth chicks page. As if I were qualified. I'm kinda funny like that. God, she and her friend look AMAZING. I mean WOW. Reminds me of Wednesday, I need to call her, see how she's doing since she got back with Brian. Also reminds me of Kim. Ah Kim. What can I say? Beautiful, funny, loves going to the tittie bar with me. We just brought an old friend of mine back to my place the other night. Now that was fun. I don't know what I'm going to do about Kim. I won't get into another relationship this soon after... well read the above book on it. I really don't want to hurt Kim. She never shuts up about Joey from Slipknot. It's pretty cute actually, but I know I'll never be number one in her book. I'm not posting why. It's not anyones business but hers. She's wanting to date me exclusively now. Kinda I want to... But no, it's too soon. My whole life might just be too soon at this point. I don't know. If anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it. Hell if you read this whole fucking thing, I'd love to hear it, I'd probably worship you publicly naked and post the pictures in a private NSFW folder... I think I'm done now. This was... therapeutic? My buzz is going away... I think I'll break out the Carlo Rossi Vin Rose 4 liter and crack it open. I can't believe it's 3:34am now. Good night you beautiful people. I'll probably be here, but with any luck I'll be passed out drunk. Be good. Or be good at it. ~J
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