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Simple Truth

Relationshipsmust be built around standards, conditions, expectations, etc. You have to have them to make sure someone is compatible with you and who is going to treat you and your kids right. But unconditional love does not mean that you get into or stay in a relationship no matter what. People get used in friendships and treated like shit in relationships because they don't have conditions that people must meet and they think that "unconditonal love" means they have to accept abuse. My condition is that people must come from love or they are not allowed to breath the air in the same room as me as long they are trying to be a part of my life. If they are not coming from love, they are coming from fear. Fear brings drama, self-pity, anger, abuse, judgment, blame, irresponsibility, inconsideration, arrogance and far more other things that do not serve me and that I refuse to tolerate. Fear is an illusion and is not real. It is something we have learned and need to unlearn and since it is not reality, it is ok to not accept it. LOVE IS THE ONLY TRUTH. I am tolerant of everything to a point because everything has a purpose, even fear, but I am at a point that I understand that fear comes back to haunt you and brings abuse. I don't judge fear because in a way it is a gift because it shows you something that is imbalanced in yourself. Life is about duality and we have fear to make us aware of love, light to make us aware of darkness, imperfection to make us aware oe perfection energy, so on and so forth. See, when a relationship of any type is no longer appropriate that is where the unconditional love comes in at this point because instead of pointing the finger, blaming and judging people who come from fear- I honor them for who they choose to be and I love them from a distance until they choose to come from love. I tell them that it is okay to live in fear, but it is not acceptable in my unreasonable reality of love and I tell them fear will come back to haunt them and they'll be back later to tell me I was right. Then I wish them well and show them the door. I am always right too. Their life falls apart when they choose not to learn and when they do, they always come back and say - you were right. In fact, all the women I talk to, when they ask me for advice, they always come back and say - you were right. Of course I am right because LOVE....IS....THE....ONLY...TRUTH. How can I ever be wrong? People often confuse the illusion of neediness with unconditional love. Women, and sometimes men, who are abused, beaten or in incompatible relationships will stay in crappy relationships because they think they "love" the person. Often when physically abused women are asked why they don't leave the guy they say "Because I love him." People who are in crappy relationships and don't want to learn and grow use that excuse. This is not love, this neediness. Love is appreciation. Love minus putting up with bullshit equals happiness. Relationships are not about martyring yourself to others, trying to find ways to keep people into our lives or get them back when the relationship is no longer appropriate. If you truly love someone, both of you will actually sit down and try to learn or get counseling to have someone help you learn to help yourselves. But accepting abuse because you "love" someone is neediness. Relationships are about learning and growing together. If a woman who is in a relationship with me refuses to learn and grow, or she she reaches a point that she needs to learn other things that are not compatible with my path, the relationship is no longer appropriate and it is time to move on and find someone who is willing to learn and grow on the same path as me. But THIS is where the unconditional love comes in. When a relationship is no longer appropriate for me or when a woman decides she needs to explore another path, I let her go and wish her well. She is choosing to be who she is choosing to be and I am choosing to be who I am choosing to be. There is no need for blame or judgment; but to love, honor and accept her for who she is and how she chooses to live her life. THIS is unconditional love. I think that should answer your question and help you decide whether or not you want to continue in this relationships; but I want you and others to try this out. If you are in a relationship and it is getting to a point where your partner doesn't want to learn, or for some reason they just aren't learning to grow in the relationship, or you are being abused, lied to or cheated on - don't stay in the relationship because you think you "love" the person. Instead of saying, "I love him" replace the word 'love' with 'appreciation' and 'need'. "I love him" "I appreciate him" "I need him" Say each one of those and see which one rings true for you. You will notice that the first two are the same thing. You can also change it to discover what it is that you like about or can't accept from the person. Do you appreciate, love or need the abuse, lies, cheating or manipulation? How about the "dumb-ass syndrome" of someone incapable of growing in the relationship? Whatever it is that is causing you pain or hurt, or even if you want to make yourself more aware of what you do appreciate (love) about the person, you can try that. Too many people confuse the illusion of fear and neediness with love, and think love hurts and causes pain, but that is a lie. You are enough by yourself and are the only one you need. Love always starts with you.
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