There are very few blanket rules for what constitutes the one. After all, one girl’s prince is another girl’s toad. But there are some telltale signs you’ve got a good guy in your sights. And if you’re like the zillions of ladies who has trouble telling the great catch from the rotten apple, then this one’s for you!
The following characteristics will be beneficial to any woman. Whether or not this is the right guy for you is a different story… but if he displays one or more of these qualities, it may mean that he’s worth a shot!
You know you’ve reeled in a good one if:
He asks questions about you – and listens to the answers.
Unlike many women, most men know if they’re attracted to someone pretty quickly – at least in the physical sense. This instinct is usually what leads to initial interest. However, if a great guy is serious about a girl he’s out with, it goes beyond the fact that he finds her pretty or sexy. He wants to understand her (or in lieu of that, since we ladies can be pretty complex creatures) know her.
When a guy asks you interesting questions (whether they spring from something you say or begin generally and increase in specificity), he’s making the effort to know you. He wants to see beyond your outside, which may sound simple to us, but for guys (who are oh-so-visual), this indicates deeper interest and at least a modicum of respect.
He shares stuff about himself.
Men are not taught to communicate or express themselves as freely as women are – or at least many of them are not inclined to doing so. A guy who shares substantive things like his hopes and dreams, feelings or fears (without dominating the conversation) is letting you know that he’s open. Open oftentimes means emotionally available. It may take a little time to find out if that’s the case, but a free and easy going attitude and the ability to express how he feels and where he’s been says a lot.
He speaks highly (but not obsessively) about his mom.
This is not to say that a guy who doesn’t like his mom can’t be incredible. He totally can. But a guy who has respect for his mother, her accomplishments, her opinions will be more likely to respect you and yours because he had a great female role model and grew up seeing her as capable and smart as well as loving. Does this bode badly for boys from broken homes? No. As most of us know, we all have to get over something. But meeting a guy who had a great mom (and knows it) simply ups the chances he’ll take you seriously as an equal and not just a piece… if you know what I mean!
Need some signs that your guy’s mom-relationship is good? Consider: Does he still spend holidays at home or speak about fond memories from childhood that include mom? Both can be good signs. That said, know the difference between mom love and momma’s boy! A momma’s boy isn’t ready to move on (from the womb)! No matter who you are, if that’s the case, you probably don’t have the wherewithal to compete (so don’t try)!
He puts effort into your dates – and everything he does!
You know the guys when you see them -- all heart, all the time. Not only is this indicative of a good lover (for obvious reasons), but a guy who gives 110% is someone who tries. Sounds simple, but what it really means is that given the right relationship/woman, he will most likely be committed to making it work.
A surefire sign you’ve met this guy is the attention he pays to your dates. It’s not necessarily that he spends a lot of money (in fact sometimes it’s what he manages to do without spending a fortune) but it’s the details. Did you mention liking something in passing that suddenly winds up included in your next adventure? Does he think outside the dinner and movie box or go out of his way to find a special kind of restaurant or unique event that will make you smile? He may not be your guy, but he’s certainly the kind of guy that is going to make some woman happy.
On that note, don’t confuse the competitive type for the all heart guy (though they can come in the same package). These guys will also strike you as sweet – because giving everything their all also includes being nice to everyone they meet as often as possible!
No matter who you are, what you’re looking for or how nuanced your particular romantic situation, there are several qualities that indicate a great mate – or at least, a great date! That said, the best tell that you’ve met a guy who’s good for you won’t be found in anything external. Your gut knows when you’re where you should be and if you pay close enough attention to what it’s saying, you’ll know. The key is learning to trust it!
