Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.
When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.
Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and nine suicide bombs.
What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose step.
Well, *somebody* subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN Building.
Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."
Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world dictators in the basement.
Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology.
Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.
What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Pussy of Fortune" magazine.