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If casting the circle changes an (int) to a (float)... If drawing down a circle is a POST (power on self test)... If erecting the temple entails formatting more than 4 disks... If passing the cakes and ale entails using a /me command... If the address of your covenstead begins with http://... If you determine the phases of the moon from the US Naval Observatory If you call the Watch Towers on your cell-phone... If you cast a circle with your CAD program... If you attend ritual skyclad because it's too much trouble to get dressed for a computer... If you can download your Book of Shadows... If you cast a spell to improve your download speed... If you do cord magick with Ethernet... If you do most of your correspondence by email and sign off with Blessed Be ... If you have cast a circle in a chat room... If you don't call it a ritual, you call it a Macro... If you draw down the moon using a light-pen... If you end a circle with Ctrl-Alt-Del... If you have ever attached ribbons to a May Pole using a staple gun... If you invite the God and Goddess to come online... If you keep a Disk of Shadows (with encrypted backups)... If you participate in online rituals more than you do FTF... If you refer to deities using 3-letter acronyms (ODN, LKI, THR)... If you refer to eclectic ritual as cross-platforming... If you refer to solitary practice as a "stand alone"... If you ritually down your server for Samhain... If you tap into the collective unconscious using Netscape... If you use List servers to set the "Quarters"... If your altar cloth is a mouse pad... If your altar has a keyboard... If your athame has a SCSI interface... If your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group... If your Book of Shadows has a 6-digit version number... If your candles have batteries... If your cauldron is a crock-pot... If your chimes are electronic... If your computer has its own familiar... If your cone of power has a surge suppresser... If your coven is spread over a 12,000 sq. mi. area... If your crystal ball has a horizontal-hold control... If your daemons collect news for you... If your deities include Murphy and Gates... If your delete button burns the file... If your drumming is done on a CD player (pre-recorded)... If your familiar is a computer mouse... If your familiar is labeled "Intel Inside"... If your favorite deity has a homepage... If your herbs are always mail-ordered (express, overnight)... If your idea of a great retreat has a Computer City, electricity, and a TV nearby... If your incense is by Glade... If your wand is a light pen... If your magical name, email address, and online name are all the same... If your magical writing is done in binary code or C++... If your OBE's begin with a netsplit... If your pentacle is made of computer chips... If your ritual robes conceal a pocket protector... If your search for truth involves regular expressions... If your spell check program is Bullfinches' Mythology... If your Star Trek screen-saver signals when your meditation period is over... If your Tarot cards multi-task... If your tech hands you your amethyst crystal that is stored by your hard drive... If you coven has a Ritual Technician... If you have had to clean wax and incense ash off your motherboard... If your Yule ritual involves defragmentation... If, instead of asking what tradition someone comes from, you ask what operating system they run... If, when your quarter candles burn out, the UPS backup system kicks in... If you charge your ritual tools with a Visa card... If you have used a TV remote as an athame... And finally... If your circle is a token ring... ... well, you just might be a TechnoPagan!
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