i am no stranger to violence. i am no stranger to pain. i am no stranger to fear. i am no stranger to lonliness or depression either for that matter.
i've faced all of them and kicked their asses at one point or another in my life. for me life has always been more than a slightly rocky ride. it's just the way it is and i've come to embrace my world with every bit of my dark little soul.
for the past few days i've been dealing with a lot of harsh things happening in my world all at once & it almost did me in... weird for me. i'm an over-comer not a chickenshyt whiner.
i was recently the victim of random violence. it's left me a little gun-shy to say the least. i have not even discussed it with the three people here in savannah closest to me... and i don't plan to for a while.
i tried to. really, i did. but one is my child, and i can't do that to her. she was away and i prefer for her to not think i am vulnerable while she's gone... the other is my best friend, but he's dealing with so damned much of his own right now... and i love him too much to burden him with this... and the other, although i have the utmost respect and love for him would say the wrong things and i'd end up more upset.
so i see my counselor. and i carry a weapon on me... which i have always done *in* my purse, but now it's in my pocket and i'll never hesitate to use it again.
i can't bear to be touched right now. but ironically enough what i want is to be held.
go effin' figgure.