AIGHT, SO LAST NIGHT I WENT OUT DRINKING WITH FRIENDS AROUND 1 ONE IN THE MORNING, WHILE A CRAP LITTLE BAR, ME AND MY FRIEND SHAUN ALMOST GOT MUGGED!!! 3 DUDES COME OUT OF A FUCKING ALLEY AND ONE OF THEM HITS ME IN THE HEAD WITH A FREAKING PVC PIPE, THE OTHER TWO START POUNDING ON SHAUN. NOW ME I HAVE A HEAD LIKE A FRIGGING CINDER BLOCK, SO I TURN AROUND A WRAPPED MY HANDS AROUND THIS DUMB FUCKS THROAT AND KNOCK HIS ASS TO THE GROUND. SHUAN IS A JEET KOON DO INSTRUCTOR FOR A COUPLE OF PLACES IN THE AREA, THE ONE DUDE HE HIT I DON'T THINK IS GOING TO BE GETTING UP ANYTIME SOON, THE SECOND GUY I HEARD SCREAMING LIKE LIE A BITCH WHILE PLEASANT SNAPPING OF BONES SOUNDS ARE HAPPENING IN THE BACKGROUND. I HEARD MOST OF THIS, BUT WAS PREOCCUPIED WITH THE FUCKER ON TOP OF ME PUNCHING IN THE FACE, WEAK LITTLE PUSSY HE WAS NO HARM INSUED, I ON THE OTHER REACHED UP AND GRABBED HIS THROAT AGAIN WITH MY LEFT, AND HIS LEFT EAR WITH MY RIGHT HAND. DO YOU KNOW IT ONLY TAKES ABOUT 3 TO 4 POUNDS OF PRESSURE TO RIP OFF AN EAR?!? I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL HORSESHIT!! UNTIL NEXT THING I KNOW THIS DUDES EAR IS BEING RIPPED OFF BY ME WITH THE MOST DISGUSTING NOSE I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! HE STARTS SCREAMING, I GET UP AND START KICKING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM. MY SIZE 13 DOC MARTENS PROLLY WOULD HAVE STOMPED HIS DUMB ASS FUCKING SKULL TO MUSH IF SHAUN HADN'T PULLED ME OFF. SHAUN HAS AN ARREST RECORD, AND SEVERAL WARRANTS ON HIM. SO WE TOOK OFF RUNNING DOWN THE STREET. WENT TO ANOTHER BAR AFTERWARDS TO COLLECT OUR THOUGHTS. CAME HOME AND PASSED OUT. WASN'T UNTIL I WOKE UP ABOUT 45 MINUTES AGO THAT I REALIZED LOOKING FOR MY SMOKES THAT I HAD MOST OF HUMAN FUCKING EAR IN MY JACKET POCKET!!!!! HOLY SHIT IT CREEPED ME OUT!! WILL POST PICTURES LATER. STILL KIND OF WIERED OUT BY THE EVENTS IN QUESTION, BUT WAKING UP WITH A HUMAN EAR IN YOUR POCKET BY FAR BEATS THEM ALL!!!!! HAD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST FOLKS, THANKS FOR LISTENING. PEACE OUT AND SHIT.-BILL. P.S. CLOTHED AND SLIGHTY DISGUSTED.
