PUNS TO PONDER
PUNS TO PONDER
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
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An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
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BUT WAIT -- THERES MORE!!
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: to transcend dental medication.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds," They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. (bet you start humming it).
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And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did
