Once, Now, and Always.
copyright (c) 1995-2004 Bigredcanuck
The muddy path, slick beneath our feet, continued along the cliffs of the great river Merrith. Each step was a struggle to keep from slipping into the deathly white and churning waters over a thousand feet below.
The staccato clatter metal on metal, cold iron forged by even colder hands, punctuated our every move. Plate, over Mail, over Leather, over Flesh, and over Blood.
Ahead we could hear the laughter again. My two Now-Brother's in front of me snarled. One of them placed his hand on the hilt of his black sword.
"They are close," he muttered under his breath. His voice was harsh and guttural. More like an animal's than a man's. "We will be upon them shortly. Prepare yourselves."
The three of us drew our swords. Black as night and wickedly serrated, they seemed to absorb the sun's light like water to a sponge. We held them ready.
My Now-Brother's trudged ahead, keeping me a few feet at bay. I was a recent 'conversion' and they still didn't trust me fully.
To be truthful, I didn't even trust my self. I didn't deserve such a luxury.
The path turned sharply and entered the dark green forest. We slashed through the bushes where undergrowth had grown over the path. With each swath of our blades, I felt the sadness fill me more and more.
White figures darted between trees ahead of us, still laughing. One moment they were there and the next moment they weren't. It was like playing that hiding game when I was a child.
But that was long ago. I was no longer a child and no longer Hiding. I was the hunter.
"There! Over There!" shouted my second Now-Brother. He pointed deep into the forest. Three white figures ran deeper into the tree's, almost dancing.
My now-brother slapped my shoulder, pushing me ahead. "Move, Damn you" he growled, "MOVE!"
We broke into a run, cutting away all the obstacles in out paths. Three shadows of death, cutting through the embodiment of life itself.
The white ones continued to laugh and chant. To them this was a game. A game which they always won.
I trudged after my Now-Brother's. They knew this was hard on me and they relished on this fact. For THEY knew I had once been one of the Folk, one of our present quarry.
Each leaf which flew past my eyes, each branch and fold of green, brought back a memory of my past....
Of my Past before the King's of the Skull and the Black Cross had come to this land.
Then I had been with my Once-Brothers and Once-Sister's. We had run through the forests, playing and singing, dancing upon beams of moonlight. Swinging in trees. We had been happy and content. We had lived in peace.
But the shadows had begun to move down from the north. SLOWLY, The Skull and the Black Cross had subjugated the People of The Valley's. The short lived and hairy people who lived for so short a time yet held so much wonder for us.
Some had escaped and sought refuge in our forests. We welcomed them with open arms for, in their own way, they had been our brother's and sisters as well. They lived and loved, they worked and played.
But slowly they died. To us it had been almost like the blink of an eye. Death was so rare to us, for we lived so long.
But not all of them died of age. Some died of loneliness and sadness, of that empty feeling when those so close to you were ripped away.
Because of that many had died because they simply gave up.
And after they died, we continued to play. Yes, we were sad that the people of the Valley were gone, but we thought that we could keep them alive if we played FOR them. In their memory.
But one day, the people returned. In small groups they entered the forest. But no longer were they the hearty and happy people we had known. Like the animals of the plains they had domesticated, there will's had been broken. The glow, which to us permeates all life, had been stifled.
They were garbed in black and harsh grey, wore helmets like skulls of iron, and bore the black cross upon there breast.
But the worst part was that they had begun to hunt us. The thing which had stifled their glow, which had broken their wills, this religion of the Skull and cross, had no place for us within their beliefs. No longer considered friends, we had become the enemy.
The prey.
At first, many of us were captured and killed. Run through with dastard blades like the one I now carry. One by one by bloody one, my once-brothers and sister's were slain.
The men, if they could called that, whom captured me, didn't kill ME though. For day's they tortured and ridiculed me. They taunted me, calling me a demon.
Never had I experienced so my anguish. The pain, the suffering. And after a week of such treatment I simply gave up. They had broken me.
And now, here I was. One of them.
I believe (do I?!?) in the Skull and the Cross. I WAS evil (Was I?!?). I had never earned anything, only taken (had I?!?). I never had a place before the Skull and the Cross (Is that true?!?) The Skull and the Cross Love Me....
(Is that True?!?)
We drew nearer to my once-siblings. Their singing had died down to a murmur. They realized that we were getting closer. That they couldn't lose us.
Suddenly, the forest vanished and we were standing on a large butte-cliff overlooking the delta as it streamed into the ocean. The Folk, those of whom once I was one, were startled. They turned back quickly to run into the forest.
Between the emptiness of the cliff and the lush, nurturing forest, we stood. Three beings of black and shadow.
For the first time in almost as long as I remembered, I saw what they looked like... What I once looked like.
They were beautiful, lithe creatures, where I was now stocky and muscular. Skin as white and soft as the light of the sun, where mine was now hard and dark. Hair like the gossamer webs of a spider, where mine was now as red as the blood I had now spilt within my life. Graceful where I lacked the quality all together.
Alive, where I was now dead.
Scared, they huddled together like frightened children which, in many way's they were. My Now-Brothers stepped forward, live rabid animals on the prowl.
They both growled and ran into the fold of my Once-Brothers and Sisters. Keeping their swords at their sides, they swung they gloved fists, beating my once family.
A beautiful woman, one I had known (had I?) before I had changed, looked at me, her eyes full of pain and sadness. Like shards of glass her green eye's pierced
the cindered remnants of my soul.
I turned away.
The Folk, my once-family, didn't know HOW to fight back. They LET themselves be beat. One by one they fell into a bloody, groaning, heap.
One of my Now-Brother's turned to me and motioned for me to come forward. Grudgingly I complied.
Each step took a tremendous portion of my strength. The closer I got, the more empty I felt.
I stood at his side. He smiled at me. Yes, I was DEFINITE he was no longer a man. He was a beast. A monster.
"It was a good hunt. brother," he rasped at me, his breath as stagnant as the waters of some long forgotten swamp, "Now it is time for you final test."
And then I understood. I understood everything. He wanted me to kill my once-family. Destroying the ties all together.
It took me a moment, but then, shakily, I raised hilt of my sword into the air, the blade facing downward like a dagger. Like a jagged, onyx, tooth.
My other now-brother, brought a once sibling and laid her at my feet. It had been the woman who had looked into my soul just moments before.
She looked up at me again, trying to search me for some sort of compassion, off feeling. But she soon found none.
I was lost. And so, now, was she.
She lowered her head. She didn't cry. She didn't beg. If I could have seen those downcast eyes I would have seen how empty they now were.
I raised the hilt slightly higher. My Now-Brother's looked at me, anxiously. "DO it," one of them said, "Do it and you will finally have a place among us. You will never be alone again."
Alone. Those words cut into me. I had been alone since I left the folk. Alone, my whole time among the Skull and Cross.
If I ended the Folk, I would remain alone. If I didn't, I would remain alone, for I had dealt to much upon them by my dark needs.
Alone.
It didn't matter. I didn't care anymore. I knew my fate, I just wanted to get this over with. Finally over with.
And so, heartlessly, I brought the blade down in one, swift and powerful sweep.....
...into the heart of the Now-Brother who stood closest to me.
Surprised, he looked down at the sword sticking out of his chest. A sickening gurgle slurred from between his lips and he fell to the ground, my sword
sliding out of his body.
My other Now-Brother screamed. As his roar escaped his lungs, ten other's Now-Brothers of the Skull and the Black Cross leapt from their hiding places in the forest. Together, like a wall of living-dead, they rushed me and my once-brothers.
I smiled slightly. Here it comes, I told myself, Release.
I leapt into the fold, slashing my gleaming black blade. With each sweep, a now-brother fell.
Within moments, I had desecrated their number to but one.
It was the Now-Brother, the first one, whom had broken me, and whom had brought me on this hunt, who now stood., His breath was heavy and laboured.
I just stared at him. He wasn't my now-brother anymore. He was, like the folk, a once-brother.
I was now truly alone, and though pained greatly pained by the fact, I knew it was better this way. I had hurt my family. I didn't deserve their love or trust.
And I hurt the skull and the cross. And though their promises of love and acceptance had, most likely, been hollow, I had hurt and them too for they had been,
in some ways, a family as well.
Now I was me. Myself. I.
If I were to die now, at least I know I would die because of my own free will. Guilty AND innocent at the same time.
A hand fell on my shoulder. I turned slightly. The woman, the one who had looked within me and seen this terrible truth, stood there. Behind her, all the folk got up. They all looked at me, yet only she spoke.
"You have broken them," she told me, her voice like dripping honey, "Just as they broke you. You are scared that you are alone. In truth, EVERYONE is alone, in someway. It is that loneliness which makes each of us special. An individual."
"You are afraid you have changed to much, caused to much pain to be forgiven. Do not believe that. It is true that you are no longer one of us. But by the same token you are no longer one of them. You are somewhere in between. You know Joy and Happiness, yet you know pain and injustice. In that way, you have become something which neither they or us were able to become."
"You are now something new. From you will come a new kind. People whom know about the thin line between Good and Evil, Light and Darkness, Life and Death. Neither one or the other. From that, you and your kind will be able to forge a new existence. You will be able to grow where The Folk and the People cannot."
This beautiful woman, of whose name I did not know or remember, leaned over and kissed me. She looked into my eyes.
"We DO forgive you. You will always be accepted among us. You will NEVER be TRULY alone."
I wanted to cry. Out of joy or sadness or anger, I did not know. I felt different now. I felt something within me break, like a vessel of warm wine, and spread across my body.
I looked down. Slowly, The Black Iron Plate and ,Mail, and the dark leather began to melt and fall to the ground. In it's stead was armour of the purest silver and platinum. My sword, once twisted, jagged, and black, was now as clear and reflective as the ocean itself.
I just stood there, feeling the warmth encompass me. It was like as if the sun, recently eclipsed, had reappeared, stronger than ever.
My Now-Once-Brother, of the Skull and Cross, rushed towards me. I didn't attack though. Instead I just pointed the blade at the ground.
The earth rumbled and a huge slab of the cliff slid away, falling into the ocean, carrying him with it into the depths.
I walked to the edge and looked down. In the delta there was an island. On this island stood a tower.
Dark and imposing it had been hued from black marble, with veins as red as blood. At its peak, a black iron skull with a cross on the brow was carved into the dead stone.
I knelt to the ground and closed my eyes. I could feel the conflict of life and death within me. I drew upon that strength.
In a blur of liquid motion I leapt into the air. I pulled my arm back and then threw my ethereal blade into the sky like a spear.
It's aim was true. Like a bird it silently glided though the air and came to rest, imbedded, in the exact apex of the pointed tower.
For a moment all was quiet, as if the world had stopped moving. Then the rumbling returned. Not just to the ground or to the tower, but to the entire earth itself.
Great rifts and cracks formed in the tower of the Lords of the Black skull and Cross. Great boulders fell free and splashed into the water. Like dried mud
it crumpled away.
With each splash of water, the red veins in the dark stone bled away into the ocean. It was the blood of all those killed returning to them. Giving them final peace.
Slowly, the ocean swallowed the island. The waters churned and bumbled. Finally, they calmed.
The skull and cross were gone.
I turned around to face the Folk, but they had vanished as well. Like the tower, not a trace of them, even a footprint, remained.
Had they lied to me? Was I truly alone now?
Then, without warning, a white steed came out of the forest and trotted to me. Stricken, I reached out, to see if the magnificent beast were real.
It whinnied once and motion with it massive head to it's back. Resting there were a beautiful tack and harness.
Knowing what it wanted, I climbed on. I just sat there, surveying the world around me.
The wind picked up, and I thought I could here laughing and singing. I smiled. The folk were still here. In ways I probably could never understand they would always be there for me and ,in similar ways, I guess the skull and the cross would always be there for me as well.
A new wind from the west rolled in. With it I could here the ethereal voices of the folk guiding me to follow it.
And I did. I rode through the forest. The path's we had made were gone, yet my steed knew where to go.
When I reached the edge of the great woods, I heard the Folk one final time. It was HER voice.
"GO now," she instructed me, "Carry us in your heart. Carry the Skull and cross in your heart. Tell our stories to the new people you will meet. Teach them. In this way we will never die and you will be making your new self, your new people, stronger. They
will not be Once or Now-Brothers and Sisters. They will be something greater."
"And what is that?" I asked her, the woman now made wind.
"They will be Always-Brothers and Sisters."
And, though the word was strange and new to me, I understood it's meaning and what she meant when she said it. Smiling, I turned my steed and headed west, toward the setting sun.
Toward the beginnings of a new world, born from the ashes of the old.
Once... Now... and Always.
