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MFKN Raistlin's blog: "Shirak"

created on 10/22/2013  |  http://fubar.com/shirak/b356160

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So there has been this guy in my life for a really long time now, but I have never really gotten to know him. I think I even knew him when I was 24 and worked with his mom. I know I knew him at 27 when he became friends with my brother. He used to call me, and annoy me asking for help on his video game. haha I really started having short conversations with him back in 2012, but he was always my brother's friend, so it never got deep or went anywhere.

 

However recently my brother has not had a phone, so I have been messenger boy for this guy. In the process, I have started actually having conversations with him, and we have hung out a few times now. Just me and him. The last one was a wo night sleepover. He slept on the couch, and I slept in a mattress beside the couch. I literally woke up in the middle of the night, and the first thing I saw were his eyes looking down at me from the couch. People tell me that is creepy, but I sort of like it since it is one of the sexiest people in this state, and also one of the sweetest, He always seems eager to please. One night he kept briging my popsicles, and yes I resisted the urge to deeo throat it. haha

I guess the thing for me is that he is someone that can cheer me up, make me smile, and forget anything or anyone that has me feeling down. It has also been proved twice now that I am incabable of being mean to him. Well I act differently around him in stressfull situations is all, but still cool. I know he does not dote on my brother like he does with me. I also like that. He just makes me smile and makes life worth living.

Now sure how or what to think. I know I am having fun so it is prolly best to keep doing what I am doing for now. Any thoughts on his eyes watching me sleep, or the other things are welcome.  He told me to call him sometime, so guess I will do that when I have a day off. ;

Ever have one of those people in your life that you know that the person is just horrible for you in a lot of ways even though this happens to be the person that you always have the most fun with? This is also usually the person that you both seem to understand each other better than anyone else does, or ever will? So in taking care of yourself, you know what you have to do, and you know that means you are going to have to let go of this amazing person. It breaks your heart to do so, but you know that it is going to be for the best for both of you to be separated. So you even go one step further and talk about this with this person, and you both know and agree how much you are both going to miss each other. You also agree that it is one  of those things like in the movie Dirty Dancing where you had the time of your life with this person, and will both have such great memories to think about when you are 70 years old. I mean face it, Baby, and Johnny never saw each other again after that Summer at Kellerman's but you know both of them told their grandkids about that Summer.

Well I had a person like that in Pensacola, and tonight I really freaking miss him. Sometimes I think that I feel him thinking of and missing me too. It sucks, but what can you do when you had to let go of someone out of maturity? He changed me for the better, and I have to know in my heart daily that it was because of him that I have been able to lose all this weight and get in shape. You can even see a few photos of him in my Pensacola folder if you are in my fam.

Anyways, I miss Will tonight. Just feeling lonely. :(

Shirak

I definetly had a good day today, even though there was a lot of turmoil. I guess it is just one of those days that teach you that perseverance has it's rewards. There is a very caring gay male that I happen to work with that comes highly reccomended by my best Wiccan buddy here locally, and today he asked me out for coffee sometime. I do not think it is a date, but I also view being as out for coffee as someone testing the waters. I really enjoy chatting with him at work though so I think he could be a great new friend, and maybe more. Who knows. Excited either way though.


I also had the good fortune to meet a new Wiccan friend tonight. I happened to meet him through a mutual friend after work tonight.  He seemed to know what he is talking about, and we have begun discussions about having a Samhain ritual together. We are going to all get together tomorrow again, and start planning all of this better. He said that he had been practing 12 years though, so I really look foward to what I can learn from him. Again, just excited.

Then of course I have plans Tuesday to get together with my best Wiccan buddy, Joetta. I was texting her earlier and learned we both have the day off. I am sure to drink plenty of coffee with her that day. I met her over a year ago working at Walmart. We were both on break, and my cell rung with the Bewitched ringtone, and she made a comment about my pentacle, and I then noticed hers.  Yeah, I love friendship like that. We have both adopted each other as family many moons ago. Anyways, also excited about that.

It seems that I am going to have a busy but fun two days off work this week. Tonight is  Friday though. Really looking foward to that.  I also volunteered to work full shifts on the holidays, and found out I will be getting doublte-time on those days. Those paychecks will definetly help me while saving to move back to Pensacola. I of course started a savings fund with the first paycheck.

Now for the hopefully more humerous part, and also the lesson on how things can start out bad, and become something great. I have to makle pizzas every night at work, and tonight I made a pepperoni for the grand cafe. I had placed it in the fridge until time to actually cook it. Well I had to go in the fridge to look for some tomatoes, and saw my pizza fall from where I had it placed. I was able to catch the dough, and pan, but watched the cheese and meat fall on the floor. Ooops! Due to work being strict on costs, I decided to save the dough, and redo it. I had a few pieces left at the end of the night since Saturday and Sunday are our slow nights, and brougt it home. I was naughty and got off my diet, but wow that was the best pizza ever. :P

Anyways, I hope this was not too boring, Just some of my life that I decided to share with you. I also dropped a light-bulb when I got in from work. It seems like my clutz is coming out, but is life sometimes, Much love to you all.

p.s still looking for a fuhubby if anyone is interested. I will pay for it on the 31st, and probably run my powerup blings then for celebration. lol hahaha I think I have decided to be nicer this time around, and if anyone needs help with anything, then let me know, within reason of course.

So yes, it seems as if I am going to actually stay this time. Well at least until I use all my bling credits anyways. hahaha I even went so far as to submit a salute. :P
 
I figured I would write some kind of blog to let all of you know why I left over a year ago, and what I have been upto in the mean time. At the time that I left, I had just started a new job with Walmart, and  really needed to focus on me at that point and rebuilding a real life for myself. I was selling wireless phones, and I actually did keep that job for an entire year. I now loathe working in retail, and left the company back in early June. The reason I left is that my yearly review came back that I was punctual, hard-working, and that I always completed my tasks, but was undeserving of a raise. That is Sam's house of ill repute for you though.

I was nice and gave them a three weeks notice, and at that point packed up, and attempted to move back to Florida. This time I chose Pensacola beach because I needed a bit of the gulf of Mexico. I freaking loved it down there between the white sands, and the clear waters. I even had the pleasure of having two Manta Rays swim around my feet  one day. It was so magickal. I also happened to meet a man down there (from Kentucky of all places) and thought I had met my best friend. He and I were roomies for about a month, but I saw that I was being used, so I chose to leave. I was paying all the bills and he was the one with a job at that point, so yeah. Life goes on though.

I came back to Kentucky, and found a full time job with a catering company called Taher. We do the food service for an Alluminum plant in this area. I have been with this company about a month now actually and love it. I am the full time night shift grill cook there. I am in charge of the grill, deep fryer, and whatever happens to be our entree for the evening. It is actually a decently classy joint for the most part. I make a dollar more an hour than I made with Walmart, and the drive is half of what I was doing with Sam. So it is an improvement all around. It had been years since I had done any kind of food service, but I work with some great people. :)

I also am saving to move back to Pensacola. I had the good fortune to meet a Facebook friend while down there, and she has a house there. She gave me an open invitation to come down there at tax time, and stay with her while I look for work. She said she would put me to work with some baby-sitting for her toddler Legion to cover my rent while I do so. She had actually moved back to Pensacola back in June when I went down there.  We hung out at the beach, had a bushwhacker, and played around with her son in the waves. Then we went out for some real seafood. I bought the snow crab, and she got the sea food platter. We split our food, and had more food than the two of us could eat.

Yeah, I think I have accomplished the real life thing. Not to mention I have some Wiccan and pagan friends that live locally that I met working at Wally World. I am also getting in shape right now. I was 202 pounds back in July, and am now down to 187 pounds. I do a lot of navy seal ab workouts when I get in from work at night, and ride an exercise bike when I have time.


Anyways, thanks for reading, and much love to everyone. (h) <3

P.S. I still need a fuhubby if you know anyone that might be interested. I will pay for it on the 31st when I get paid.

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