I don't know who I am anymore. I know when and how it happened, yes, but I still can't figure out why. I've asked myself time and again, Why me? Why did this happen to me? I've been everything to everyone, I've done everything for everyone, and I still don't have the answers. I've run the gauntlet time and again, and I continue to hit the wall at the end of it. I continue to fail myself and all those around me. I've been trapped inside myself, and believe me it isn't a very pretty place, but whilst I was there, I searched for meaning. I searched for who I was, and I never found myself. When I came out of my own mind, I started to search for myself again, and still I'm not there. I fear that i will never find the person I was and that I'll forever be lost to myself. People say that they can see the real me, but how is that possible, when I don't even know who the real me is anymore. I play so many roles, and that's all they are. Roles. I'm a mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, but I don't know who those people are, because I don't know myself. They're masks, they're the faces that I put on each and every day. I've tried and I've failed. I've died many times, and I'll continue to die again and again. I'm devoid of emotion, I can no longer feel. I am numb. So, if you find me before I do, please send me back to this shell I've become.
