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We were going to go to the zoo today, but the rain prevented that. The DC zoo is pretty large, and admission is free, so I'm sure when we do go, it will be more than a simple one day affair. We also have to hit up the smithsonian natural history museum. Dan is very excited for that last one, he is a big history buff. I just want to see this dinosaur bones.
I have been having a back and forth battle of the myspace messages with Rachel ever since I told her I would be coming for Lucas this weekend. She was bound and determined I would be leaving him for good. That very much annoys me. And I can't wait to see my boy.
Ship just reminded Danny tonight that he gets housinig allowance, and so now after he speaks with his case manager tomorrow, we will be looking into apartments. It is undecided as of yet if that will be an apartment in DC, or a place in PA he will come visit on weekends until he gets out. We're pretty sure he will be out in about a month, give or take a week. But will know more soon. I am leaning on DC as that way I will be here with him and able to be driven to DR apointments for Lucas and such, instead of taking a bus. Dan will be able to take me where I need to go to get Lucas on state medicaid here as well as WIC. Jesus, WIC is going to think I move way to fucking much. Food stamps will also come, I'm sure, as Dan will possibly still be living in walter reed medical center and not actually with me. However, I hope they do allow him to move with me right off campus. He wouldn't be far and still make formation as well as all his apointments. We're going to sit down tonight and talk about it when he gets back. As for now, I have sent him back to his room to spend time with Ship and play some Halo on Xbox. I want him to know he still has that kind of freedom. Hell most of the time, I'm the one brining it up, telling him to go.
He's texting me now asking how the Rachel thing is going, he says he's worried about me. The boy can't even hang out with his friends without checking on me. And that's why I love him.
Dan says he understands why I don't trust anyone to remain in my life. Even my family, the father who raised me all my life, has bailed on me. My mother was the only thing holding me to any of their lives, and now she is gone. Though I understand my mother being gone was by no choice but gods, it still hurts. And Dan says flat out, "there's nothing more that I can do other than say it's going to be different. I am your family." He swears he will be the constant in my life. And with every inch of my being, I do hope so. He pays so much to keep me around, it's far more than a fake relationship at this point.
We went to FYE in the mall today, after lunch at Austin Grill, looking for swimfan. No such luck. But he did buy me my very own copy of varsity blues. And it's the little things like that, the simple little DVD, that make me realize how different he is. Nothing is trivial.
So uhm... there is a twilight umbrella, yo. And I have to have it. *by the way*
I forgot what else I wanted to mention, honestly. I could use a ciggarette. I want some marb milds right about now. *sigh*
Danny, will you PLEASE write in your damn journal? Seriously.
I really love how he leaves his laptop here for me all the damn time now. I should steal it and call it my baby. I fucking love it, and I never thought I would like a laptop. It's just so easy to type... Sweetness.
I just got the weirdest text from someone saying the new my husband. Ok? I don't even know my husband... last I heard, he was dead. WTF?
