Last night…another night with pain…10 years, every night..continual nights with “no hope in sight”….weighing on my mind….what to do…where to turn….who to talk to at 3AM?..……how can I help the best, but still have a “LIFE” of my own…..The threat of falls, massive depression daily….a drunken alcoholic binge way tooo often….leaving me and the kids to pick up all the pieces…time and time again, over and over……. ….you wonder why I feel shattered??……..you wonder why I don’t care anymore?…..HOW can u honestly wonder?............A feeling of despair……my energy is slipping, my thoughts are far away…..I wonder why I’ve lasted this long?….It’s because I care….”it’s who I am”…..”it’s what I am”……My soul is “”dying””….my “heart” is shattered…..pieces can’t be picked up…..time slips by, days slip by.....some friends have been lost…..I’ve MOVED on…..I won’t be trapped……I LIVE each day like theirs no tomorrow…..my smile won’t fade as new friends have been made. Another night, another repeat of despair....”simply shattered”……