So long ago I was a child
With mind so pure
And manners mild,
And dreams of treasures, valor and what not,
Of things like sailing 'round the world in my yacht.
At night I'd sit and watch
Bright planets in the sky
When they and then the stars
Would roll on by.
My mind would travel
To a distant cosmic shore,
Exploring corners of the Universe
I hadn't known before.
I could converse with trees
And birds and camels
And fish and insects,
Shrimp and gnawing mammals.
It was my Age of Innocence,
Profundity and tranquil joy.
My soul was crystal clean.
My heart was daring yet coy...
And then damn puberty arrived
Along with pimples, rock-n-roll and teenage jive
And, ruthlessly, to my dismay, my hormones then kicked in,
And then a loathsome fire started burning from within.
Oh, how raging, how wicked was that fire!
A sticky, overwhelming s*xual desire!
My inner organs started churning sperm-
Their tiny bodies would inside my body squirm.
I lost my cosmic understanding then
Becoming slowly just like the rest of men-
Possessed by billions of slick spermatazoa
Who bound my freedom like some giant boa.
All I could think of now was just thighs and breasts,
Girls' hair, buttocks, nipples, calves and all the rest.
I would spend days on end forever contemplating
Just how and when I could be copulating
With all the pretty girls at school and in my neighborhood,
And nothing in my life would be as good.
Since then, I have become a lewd and horny being,
Salacious, randy, raunchy, with my reason fleeing
Forever from my once unclouded mind,
While leaving me, detestable, behind.
A prisoner of s*x, my life had now but one goal:
Of how I could fertilize them all-
Those girls and women, that is what I mean...
And so, I ended up a brainless s*x machine.
I've chased them skirts for three decades and now,
My money's gone, I've been divorced; somehow
Along with many men, I've wasted years of our lives
On seeking out wh*res in seedy dives.
I've had VD and spent amounts unknown
To hear myself emit a lustful groan.
I've spent humongous sums of cold, hard cash
To sow my seed inside some barren gash.
All for the sake of what? Just what IS s*x?
If not an awkward way of fertilizing human eggs.
T'is just a way for Mother Nature to entice
All men to either marriage or a life of vice,
To leave behind the purity and freedom they once knew
To spread around their slimy goo.
So how could I, a former cosmic child
Just turn into a beast so wild
So base and vulgar that I think, I'll never
Be pure again or as pristine or clever
As what I used to be before that puberty
Created all this vile impropriety?
And so I warn you all- do not become a slave
To procreation urges! Let them rave,
But don't you let them rule your precious brain.
If not, your whole life may be in vain.
