I chose 7 qualities or personality traits that turn me on… then I chose 7 physical things that turn me on.
In no particular order….
Turn ons - Qualities/Personality Traits in a man
1) Confidence – Men who know who they are, what they want, and believe in themselves completely turn me on. Some of the best looking men I've known have very low self-esteem, so this has nothing to do with physical traits… it's an attitude.
2) Intelligence – It doesn't matter if you have your doctorate or if your self-educated, all that matters is that you have some common sense and you can speak to various topics.
3) Consideration – I think the best way to describe this one is by giving an example. One night, I went to my ex-boyfriends house after working 12 very stressful hours… I walked in the door and said "I just want to take a hot bath and go to bed". Right after I started to relax in his big garden tub, the door opened, the lights were switched off, and in he walked carrying lit candles, a wine glass and a bottle of wine… he lit the other candles in the bathroom, poured me a glass of wine, kissed me on my forehead, turned on relaxing music on the radio, shut the door behind him and left me to relax. Not one word was spoken, but his actions showed a deep respect and consideration for the long day I had.
4) Passion – A man with extreme and intense enthusiasm about something (anything) can tell me that he isn't afraid to take risk and that he lives life to the fullest. It's something you can't fake, you either have it or you don't.
5) Remembering the little things – a kiss when you get home, walking me to my car, opening the doors for me, holding hands, or giving compliments are just some examples. My sister has a great husband (I introduced them…so she thanks me often), so I'm going to use something he does as an example as well. During the winter, every morning when she is almost ready for work, he runs outside and cranks her car to let it warm up before she leaves. It is such a little task for him but so huge in showing his love for her.
6) Adventurous – I have a zest for new adventures… whether it is trying out sky diving or something new in the bedroom. I like to switch things up in my life and keep them interesting. So it is a turn on when a man has a desire to experience new things.
7) Communication skills – This would be number one… I think communication is the key to a successful relationship. I also believe that you have to be able to communicate in the bedroom… expressing your desires, fantasies, etc. If you can communicate in those types of intimate situations, then you can communicate in all aspects of the relationship.
Physical things that turn me on (outside of sex)
1) Kissing – If you read Sit still and let me kiss you then you realize how passionate and important kissing is to me… so much that I dedicated a blog to it. To me it's the beginning and ending of foreplay.
2) Massages – I don't think I need to explain how sensual a massage can be…but I enjoy giving and receiving them.
3) Cuddling – this tends to be a huge stress reliever as well as a turn on for me. It's the desire to be held or to hold someone, the touch of their body against mine… it's the affection that comes with the cuddling, it's saying "I care about you"… and it's crucial in emotional intimacy.
4) Being "slightly" aggressive – a man who can initiate sex, take control of the situation, as well as being a little rough while still maintaining a sensitive touch turns me on more than the guy who is only receptive when I initiate.
5) Talk dirty to me – yes, I'm one of those women who enjoy this…there are appropriate times to do it though… if we are "making love", I'd rather the more sensual talk if any.
6) Tease me than please me – teasing just builds up the sexual intensity to the highest level. Sending me a text message while I'm out with my girls to let me know what you are going to do to me when I get home will definitely create anticipation and may even make me cut out a little early! There is also the aspect of physical teasing that can be fun…… (I'm not going to go into details here, because then I'll turn myself on just by talking about it…)
7) Pleasing him – I'm a giver… so satisfying his sexual needs and desires is actually the number one physical turn on for me.
