I have a blog about high school roles and the meaning of the word "popularity" percolating in my head, but it hasn't coalesced into a coherent blog yet. But hey, figured I was past due for a blog of some sort.
So last night, I turned off my Tivo, and Oprah was on live TV (it was very late), and they were doing a show on people who wanted to lose weight. Which is fine. Of course I don't have a problem with people wanting to live healthier lifestyles.
What I found disquieting is how down on themselves these people were because of their weight. It was like they had no self-esteem whatsoever just because they were overweight. And, honestly, these weren't grossly obese people. These were heavy but healthy looking people. But it was as if their entire self-identities were completely shattered by the fact that they were overweight by modern standards.
(I was also amused by an interview with one woman's husband, who said "I feel guilty about it, but I wish she looked like she did when we got together," while on the screen flashed photos of them in younger years. I stared at his now-bald pate and thought, "Dude, betcha she thinks the same thing about you and your hair, but I don't see you rushing out to Hair Club for Men, do I?")
Do I think it's a good thing to want to live a more active, healthy lifestyle? Absolutely! Do I think it's a good idea to gorge on junk food and sugar and stuff? Absolutely not. But at the same time, why is that the only thing about themselves that these people can focus on?
One guest quoted Oprah's statement that she spent "too much of her 30's obsessing on her weight." The thing is -- Oprah made that statement about how she should have done the best she could to live a healthy life, but not be completely stressed about it ... not focus on her weight to the exclusion of other things. But all of these people were sadly down on themselves, and focused entirely on losing weight as a way to feel better about themselves.
Believe me, I know what it is to live in a judgemental world, knowing you're nowhere near the modern beauty ideal. Do I wish I could lose weight, look like I did ten years ago? Yes. Am I working on it? Yes. I've cut down my Mountain Dew intake a lot, and I'm trying to eat smaller portions of food more often, and luckily, sugar and carb gorging has never been a sin of mine.
That said, I don't look at myself and think I'm a completely worthless person because I don't look like I did ten years ago. Are those people's lives really going to be THAT much better once they lose weight? Are they magically going to feel a lot better about themselves because they fixed one thing? There's a lot to a person to believe in, besides physical appearance.
So, I wish those people well in losing weight. I really do. I hope that it does a miraculous thing in helping those people improve their self-images. But me? I'm going to keep working on being healthier, all while believing in myself. And if someone is too judgemental and won't like me for who I am now... do I really want that person in my life? Would I want that person in my life even if I were skinnier? Absolutely not.
Oh, and just for the hell of it, 'cuz I got this song stuck in my head due to this blog title:
Offspring - Self-Esteem
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say.
When she came over
I lost my nerve
I took her BACK and made her dessert.
Now I know I'm being used.
That's okay man cause I like the abuse.
I know she's playing with me.
That's okay cause I've got no self esteem
Chorus:
Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah (Repeat two times)
We make plans to go out at night.
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light.
This rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so.
Chorus
When she's saying, all that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she saying, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care Right? Yeah!
Now I'll relate, this little bit
That happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and, looking to score
Now I know, I should say no, but
That's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem
Chorus
When she's saying, all that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends.
When she's saying, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend.
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way.
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care. Right? Yeah!
