So, I decided to take a short trip away from home to relax, party and have some fun. I went to a club and got completely wrecked and was talking up a pretty cute girl. Not the kind of girl I’d take home to Mom, but she seemed easy and she wasn’t an uggo so that was good enough for me.
I remember bits and pieces of the night, like leaving the club together and going back to her dorm and making out all over her dorm room–on the couch, in the kitchen and then finally in her room, etc. Pretty much everything after that is a blur… until the next morning. I woke up groggy and the girl I woke up next to was not nearly as hot as I thought she was the night before so I did what any self-respecting person would do, I snuck out.
Her dorm rooms had one of those community bathrooms so I went to the bathroom and the whole way down the hall every person I passed was staring at me and smiling/laughing and I couldn’t figure it out. I got into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and there was blood all over my face. It took me a second to figure out why. Apparently the girl I hooked up with was on her period and I went down on her. I puked my ass off and washed my face, then I walked about 8 miles back to my car feeling sick and I had lost my lucky boxers. I won’t tell my friends this story because they would never let me live it down.