1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place then on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine,
4. Leave a note on the door that reads:
Hey Bubba,
Big Jake, Duke Slim and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside....Cooter
