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01/04/2012

This blog is just for me to put my thoughts out there. It may be very likely that you will only enjoy this blog if you are bored and have nothing else to do. Even then it would just be something to occupy yourself. :P

There are a lot of single men and women that are consrantly searching for someone to date. A good portion of them have no luck at all and get frustrated. I've felt this way for a while. When I was at my brother's and best friend's apartment New Years weekend, this topic came up. My best friend, Roxie, told me that I shouldn't worry about it, I would eventually meet someone and have a natural connection that led to dating.

It made me think that instead of trying so hard create a deep connection with the women I meet, I should wait till I find someone that I can converse with constantly, with little effort. Another thing that I keep in mind is what one of my past friends told me: 'When you are adimately looking for someone to date, it will be hard to find someone to date. Once you give up and aren't looking for anyone, tons of people will suddenly want to be with you.' Unfortunately she knew this because at the time she didn't want a relationship, five or six people want to date her.

It's never a good idea to go looking for someone to be with unless you are comfortable being single. Once you are comfortable with being single, your outward demeanor is that of confidence and content. This will prevent people from being repelled from you. To explain what I mean by that, when you aren't comfortable being single, you come off as being needy. People tend not to like neediness. 

Now some people see finding someone to date as a challenge that they want to overcome and lets face it, a lot of people are successfull at it. But lets face it, thats for the experts at the dating geme. I haven't been in the dating game that long (not by choice), so I choose the passive approach. This doesn't mean I am just going to wait for someone to come to me. I will put myself in situations that will allow me to meet new people, but I will approach them without the inital intent of asking them out. I would just approach themm and get to know them. If there was a spark on both sides I am in luck. If not I might have just found someone who is cool to hang with.

Another thing I thought of was not just focusing on women. Don't trip, I'm not saying I am thinking of dating a man. If I meet some men that enjoy doing some of the same things I do and I like hanging with them, I have the chance of meeting the women they know. And of course there is the fact that some men I might start to hit it off with will want to find a woman for me to hook up with. When someone tries to set me up with someone I feel pressured and sometimes nervous. I just have to remind myself that I don't have to hook up with them when I meet them, I can just test the waters and go from there. If the dude that was trying to set me up with her pressured any more than that I would probably have to have a talk with him about boundaries.

Well to any who did read this blog entry, I'm sorry. I may or may not have made some points, but it's just a buch of rambling about my troubles and what I have learned from them. If there are any put down comment to this blog it's ok to submit them for approval. Critacism is a part of life, but if it's an unnesseccary comment I will just read it and reject it. No hard feelings. Seriously. :)

 

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