ARMAN's blog: "Search Eternal"

Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever spinning feel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
The world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of it's own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream

Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle your head
Why did summer go so quickly
Was it something that I said
Lovers walking along the shore
Leave their footprints in the sand
Was the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand

Pictures hanging in a hallway
A fragment of these words
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

The world is cold and thunderous
As one dark day follows the next
From high up in the heavens
Shadows fell like rain
Drenching me in sorrow
Drowning me in pain
Pulling me deeper
Spinning me faster
Into turbulence

Everything turned to blackness
For my eyes had closed before me
I tried to hide from my sadness
But there's nowhere to hide
In an empty world
Just as hope seemed to have faith
There appeared a shelter in the distance
That shelter was love
That shelter was you
In cover from the torment I felt warmth
I turned and saw a glow rising
Nothing like anything I'd ever seen
Spellbound I was drawn to it
Slowly giving myself to it
Everything was still
For this new life lay within me now
From this light beauty grew
As my heart stirred music lived in my breath
Soared from my lips in a song of love
Even from the depths of my memory
Shadows and death fled
Freely I fell
Deeper into this world of bliss
Faster
Into you


There I stood
Beneath heavens cloudy veil
Threatening in its darkness
I tried calling out
Vivid sweet songs
Only bitter music bled through my lips
For you...
For love...
I cry...

In every heart there is regret
But they soon repair and don't forget
The deepest songs that life then fears
Through the pain, through the years

These are the thoughts that I conceal
Though my eyes can't hide the way I feel
There are no angels at my side
I am weak, I am tired

I am afraid of what I see
When my world is safe, what I dream
I do not shed a single tear
When I sleep, you are here


You know it's true
I am broken
Can we recapture
The life we knew?
I am missing you

The world is cold and thunderous
As one dark day follows the next
From high up in the heavens
Shadows fell like rain
Drenching me in sorrow
Drowning me in pain
Pulling me deeper
Spinning me faster
Into turbulance

Everything turned to blackness
For my eyes had closed before me
I tried to hide from my sadness
But there's nowhere to hide
In an empty world
Just as hope seemed to have faith
There appeared a shelter in the distance
That shelter was love
That shelter was you
In cover from the tourment I felt warmth
I turned and saw a glow rising
Nothing like anything I'd ever seen
Spellbound I was drawn to it
Slowly giving myself to it
Everything was still
For this new life lay within me now
From this light beauty grew
As my heart stirred music lived in my breath
Soared from my lips in a song of love
Even from the depths of my memory
Shadows and death fled
Freely I fell
Deeper into this world of bliss
Faster
Into you


There I stood
Beneath heavens cloudy veil
Threatening in its darkness
I tried calling out
Vivid sweet songs
Only bitter music bled through my lips
For you...
For love...
I cry...

There's a place, in my head
A place I know I really shouldn't go
But I'm easily lead
I seem to have a problem saying no

You think it's a front
So it doesn't really matter all that much
A publicity stunt
A fabricated tendency to self-destruct


You turn a blind eye
Cause it's just another phase I'm goin' through
Well what good is goodbye
These things have a habit of haunting you

I just can't seem to trust myself
So what chance does that leave for anyone else?
 
I'm my own worst enemy
You ain't seen the end of me..

In your dream you see me clear
I have no restraint no fear
Powerless I watched from faces I'd assumed
My purpose set
My will defined
Caress the air
Embrace the skies
Escape the sorrow and restraint of mortal cities

Give me time I will be clear
Given time you'll understand
What possesses me to right what you have suffered
I'm in this mood because of scorn
I'm in a mood for total war
To the darkened skies once more and ever onward

So many years I stood among the thoughts
And tears of those I served
Among my own I was alone through my own doing
All the years I walked unknown
Behind the faces I assumed
Powerless to clear your mind of what you'd suffered

There is no faith in which to hide
Even truth is filled with lies
Doubting angels fall to walk among the living

To the darkened skies once more
I'd only come here seeking peace
I'd only come here seeking me

It seems I came to leave

Will you guide my restless soul
Through the fire and the storm
Lead me to a place that I can call my own

Here I'd lost my innocence
What I feel is heaven sent
Something to believe that I can call my own

This place I found
It relieves my soul
The sun will rise
To guide me there


Leave your demons in the past
There's a lot of things I want to last
Cherish every moment that you haven't learn
Away from all that's broken
Listen when your heart is spoken
You'll have faith in me I'll show you how

This place I found
It relieves my soul
The sun will rise
To guide me there
The voice of an angel to carry me home

When your world's a hidden secret
That I yearn to touch
I wanna know your soul
Reveal it to me

When your eyes are flood of teardrops
And your wings are broken
I will give you hope
Believe in me

In the dust
Of your wave
A heartbeat is a part
Of the greater dream
Like a rope
Round your throat
It won't let you breathe
If you let go

When your stars are out to get you
And you can't find love
Inside to fill the hole
There's comfort in me

When your roots are taken hostage
By the one you love
Why don't you let it be
Surrender to me

One day the black hole
Will Disappear
Everything that ventured inside it
Will have no relevance
But it will still be felt out there
Somewhere in the bigness
Like the way I still feel you

Some books are better left unread
But I will never underestimate
The meaning


Between the knowing and the believing
There is no space for the sunrise or doubt
I've packed my bags full of existence
That's all
Memories outside this village
Visit sometimes
I'm dancing again

Somethings are better left unsaid
But I will never underestimate
The meaning


Knowledge and understanding
Remain my faithful companions
I'll keep them safe under my hood
When I'm ready to forgive
It may sink in
The chapter I never understood

A journey is what I have to take
To find myself that choice I must make
To wander through the hands of all time
A vision of my life I must find

You know I won't forget
All of those times we spent
No-one said that it would last
I won't forget the past

The time has come for me to depart
I'll leave the world a piece of my heart
Where I go you cannot follow
If I'll be back I really don't know

Don't say you'll miss me I won't believe
You laughed at me and all of my dreams
Well now the laughs are at your expense
Where I go my dreams all make sense

I won't forget the past...