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SHE REALLY LOVES HER HUSBAND HUH In a message dated 22/10/2006 04:10:02 GMT Standard Time, hugme200013@yahoo.com writes: Ok I need an opinion not a solution just a thought and I probably should ask someone ells but so far ur the only one I no whos always right. Heres the thing I have been married for sevin years w/ him for 9 Befor i got married he said he wanted me and only me after we had our son he changed his mind and he cheeted he'll only admit to kissing but u dont spend 4 hours just kissing unless u r a vergin so I no he cheeted but I stayed cause he cride then He said we should exparament and be w/ other ppl I said no then he said u should and record it so i can watch after 3 and a half years of him saying this i finaly agreed but i couldnt do it and wond up feeling inadequit because i couldnt fullfil his desires but then i kept dreeming we were getting divorsed i've been having the dreem for a year and in it im happy because i dont have to argue w/ him he can find someone who will do all this stuff(as long as hes upfront about it) and i can find someone who wants to love me and my children. But when i bring up we shouldnt be together he crise yet he still constantly picks fights w/ me. Today I told my sister about the dream she said everyone has been waiting for me to smarten up and leve him but i had promised him i wouldnt so im conflickted . I dont no if I should stay and continue trying to make him happy or go and be happy and have my kids be happy because if he didnt get to see them as much maybe he would want to see them. And enjoy being w/ them instead of constently sending them to their room so he can be alone. We never go out just me and him he didnt let me help pick the house that i hate lol. But he works hard and has taken care of me and his children finacialy however when i say i want a job he always thinks why i shouldnt or just gets mad but if he wants me to work i better take any job i can get pluss give my pay check to him. I havent worked for 6 years almost 7 I have never had to pay bills i dont even no how to balance a check book. Now if befor we had said ourI do's he had said I want more than u i just want u mainly and I disided to stay that would be a differant story. But he didnt he said ppl who cheet r horrible whyd they even get married. You see what im sayin. I just feel awful I realy dont wanna be here but if i leve i'll have to learn all this stuff that i should already no and i'll have to work w/ hardly any experiance. But I could be happy. If I stay I wont have to worry about that stuff but I wont be happy lol I guess I answered my own question hu. Still its scarry and we got married in a church so i feel guilty. I didit even get to have the wedding I wanted lol which would have saved us tuns of money. I cant belive im even contemplaiting this Hes gunna be so angry but I dont want to worry wheather or not he's gunna hold his fist back which he always has but a few times i had to scream load enough to give him a scare someone might here to make sure it stayd that way. He's not a bad person its just hes not who he said he was so do u think it would be horrible of me if i took back my promise to stay if I tride to make a better life for my children and I would it be a bad thing he wont go to consling or i'd try OMG i just wish i didnt feel. Is it horrible to end something when u vowed infront of God for better or worce I'm so sorry I'm asking u all this u just seem so level headed and I feel so lost and u remind me of someone who i had great respect for and who always told me the right thing and made me feel I was ok. No matter who said I wasnt lol So I guess thats why I came to u... I'm realy happy we r friends u've been nothin but wonderful love ya mwahhhh xxxx
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