I wanted to say bye to the awesome people i met and talked to. Im leaving cherry tap//no more nursejulie.
Ive been very heart broken and i need all the strength i can get so im deleting my account and moving on:) Its too much to see him here and not hurt. Its to much to read what i know is deeper than i can touch, its too much temptation to have a connection that i realised tonight is over. It is just all too much...
Again, i really had fun chatting on yahoo and getting to know so many new friends but I have MAJOR adjusting to do. Im deleting my yahoo nursejulie account also so i wont be on that either...sorry~
Ive cried for 2 days, ive begged, ive been there, ive ask what i did wrong, ive given my heart and soul to this man, ive let hin be a part of my children's life, ive hurt like hell and it didnt matter, i reached bottom and now..now ive found a peace about it..i know what i have to do to move on. Im getting my priorities back where they belong, are welcomed, appreciated, loved and "recipecated"(Ive lost what i believed to be my soul mate and best friend), this will take strength that ONLY he has seen me have to use before. Strenth he promised would never be needed for him.
Maybe that was the missing link all along, the piece that ive had to accept as it is....and I have:)
Last week. as i passed him in the house,i stopped him, hugged him really tight, looked up at him and ask, "are you ever gonna leave me?", I believed his answer,"no never". It took my breath away and slapped me back into reality, when he ripped my heart out. It took reaching bottom tonight to find closure and begin the accepting and healing part. I feel better and I know that me and my two perfect beautiful babies will be ok:)
I can do this:) My kids need me 110% focused and loved...we will move on and be better for the experience.
Best wishes
Love
Julie
